With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the Internet. What potential problems may this trend lead to? What solutions can you suggest to deal with it?
The rapid advancement of technologies
that
inevitably Correct pronoun usage
apply
lead
to unsupervised underage to Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
access
the internet
, especially social media. There are several problems that might occur such
as children
accessing false information
and adult
content
freely. Therefore
, the solutions should come from both parents
and the providers
to restrict several contents for children
.
One of the problems of unsupervised underage accessing the internet
is they could receive false news and watch adult
content
. This
is happen
because people tend to reshare Wrong verb form
happens
information
without clarifying the truth. This
kind of information
is dangerous for youngsters because hoaxes and adult
content
could distract children
's development. Additionally
, parents
are not able to supervise their children
all the time and youngsters do not have the ability to differ the inputs yet and believe everything they see. Consequently
, harmful content
such
as bullying, violence and hoax could affect their mental and habit development. Due to
these facts, there should be a preventive way to avoid accessing certain content
. Nevertheless
, both parents
and providers
should work hand-in-hand to prevent children
from accessing harmful information
.
A possible solution to this
problem would be restricting access
to certain content
for underage which should be implemented by providers
. Moreover
, there are many applications, for instance
, Netflix and Prime Video that provide a family account where the parents
split the account into five sub-accounts where
one of Rephrase
apply
them
can be set as a Correct pronoun usage
which
children
's account to show only children
's genres of movies. As a result
, though parents
are not able to supervise their children
all the time, they can control what their children
watch.
To conclude
, unsupervised access
to the internet
by children
causes several potential issues such
as children
accessing adult
content
and hoax information
. Obviously, to avoid illegal content
access
by children
, both parents
and providers
should limit access
to certain websites or apps. This
preventive way could be a solution for unsupervised access
to the internet
by children
.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the key points of the question, but it could benefit from more specific examples to elucidate the points further. For instance, mentioning specific instances where unsupervised internet access has led to problematic behavior or specific measures parents/providers can take would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, improving logical flow between sentences and paragraphs would enhance coherence. Using transition words and ensuring each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next will improve this.
coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that slightly impact clarity. For instance, 'This is happen because' should be 'This happens because'. Proofreading and possibly rephrasing some sentences would make the essay more polished.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a strong framework for the discussion.
task achievement
The main points are relevant to the question and are well-supported. The argument about false information and adult content is pertinent and well-elaborated.
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