IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Usually, wealthy
countries
Use synonyms
 give away money to poorer
countries
Use synonyms
, meanwhile it does not solve most problems
such
Linking Words
 as
neediness
Correct article usage
the neediness
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 in these
countries
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, rich
countries
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 should donate
other type
Change the wording
another type
other types
show examples
 of help to the poverty
countries
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 rather than financial aid. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I am going to argue about
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what points I
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
agree and disagree
.
Change preposition
with.
show examples
Firstly
Linking Words
, the most important reason which I agree is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 don’t
use
Use synonyms
 the whole financial aid for
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
. They may steal a part of
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
 themselves or
use
Use synonyms
 it in another
way
Use synonyms
. So, I hardly agree that the help should be in another
way
Use synonyms
 like giving away frozen meats, frozen
chickens
Fix the agreement mistake
chicken
show examples
,
rice
Correct word choice
and rice
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 maybe
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 won’t have any other choice and would be forced to
use
Use synonyms
 it for
people
Use synonyms
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in
none developed
Verb problem
non-developed
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 many students, families and
people
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 have no money to attend school and get
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
subsequently
Linking Words
, the average educated
people
Use synonyms
 will be low and the country can’t develop in the future too. So, another
way
Use synonyms
 would be sending human help
such
Linking Words
 as
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 or educated volunteer
people
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 to help
people
Use synonyms
 to study and learn
alphabet
Correct article usage
the alphabet
show examples
 and math and science,
as a result
Linking Words
, kids will have the opportunity to shine and grow in any field they are interested and talented, who knows maybe there will be an intelligent person like Albert Einstein.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, if we look
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
politic
Replace the word
political
show examples
 side no country
like
Correct subject-verb agreement
likes
show examples
 to see another country
grows
Correct subject-verb agreement
grow
show examples
 and later get ahead of them;
become
Correct word choice
and become
show examples
 a threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them.
Consequently
Linking Words
, donating money is a better
way
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 extent. And letting fate decide how they will
use
Use synonyms
 it.
To sum up
Linking Words
, by listening to our humanity side having a better world and making everyone everywhere feel safe and warm is the first priority of human beings cause
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 the right to live in a healthy area.
Overall
Linking Words
, the agreements outweigh the negative points.

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relevant specific examples
Ensure that all points are adequately supported with clear and specific examples. For instance, the argument about governments wasting financial aid could benefit from concrete examples or statistics to strengthen its validity.
logical structure
Improve coherence by working on transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will help make the essay more fluid and easier to follow.
clear comprehensive ideas
Maintain a formal tone and avoid colloquial expressions such as 'who knows' and 'maybe.' This will help in making the essay more formal and academic.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion.
logical structure
The main points are outlined with examples, and there's a clear attempt to address both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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