Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Todays
Fix the agreement mistake
Today
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,
however
,many international aids
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
been given to
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
show examples
countries
by developed
countries
in order to mitigate the financial
problems
that
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
still
exsisted
Correct your spelling
exist
. Maybe, a good option to reduce these kinds of
problems
is other sorts
or
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
that rich
countries
should give to developing ones. I totally disagree with
this
statement and
this
essay will outline the reasons why I believe that. The main reason behind
this
problem is the sustainable development and economic growth in poor
countries
. People who live in developing
countries
need to stand on their own
feets
Correct your spelling
feet
show examples
.
Countinues
Correct your spelling
Continues
helps
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help
show examples
from other nations might solve their poverty for a short
while
, but these
countries
need
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
more than
intrnational
Correct your spelling
international
helps. Attracting international investments to
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
jobs is a proper option for their progression. The more investments are allocated in these
countries
, the higher rate of GDP these
countries
can have for a long period of time.
Besides
, having a good assigning policy is a significant factor that contributes to
solve
Change the verb form
solving
show examples
the
povety
Correct your spelling
poverty
in poor
countries
.
In other words
, poor
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
should priorities their
problems
when they
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money from international resources.
For example
, many
countries
in Africa are
soffering
Correct your spelling
suffering
from poverty,
however
, they are
recieving
Correct your spelling
receiving
a huge proportion of international helps
compaired
Correct your spelling
compared
with other
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
around the world, but
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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strategies
Add a comma
strategies,
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they are not able to remedy their
problems
. Some may argue that other types of help can be
trakced
Correct your spelling
tracked
traced
and the governments can not take
advantege
Correct your spelling
advantage
of them for their goals,
while
money can be abused by the governments
for example
in military intends.
However
, today there are many international contracts like FATF that
specifies
Correct subject-verb agreement
specify
show examples
the source of any money to prevent the bad usage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
by governments. In conclusion, International
helps play
Correct subject-verb agreement
help plays
show examples
a significant role
to mitigate
Change preposition
in mitigating
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poverty in third world
countries
and there is no vital need for other sorts of
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
,
however
I think poor
countries
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
focus on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
human resources to solve
thier
Correct your spelling
their
financial
problems
completely.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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structural improvement
You should ensure your essay has a more logical flow and structure. This includes starting with an introduction that clearly states your position, followed by body paragraphs each with a single, clear idea supported by examples or explanations, and concluding with a summary of your main points and restating your position.
content enhancement
To support your main points better, use specific, real-world examples. These could be from current events, historical instances, or hypothetical scenarios that directly relate to your argument. This not only makes your argument more convincing but also more engaging for the reader.
idea development
Work on the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas by focusing on one main idea per paragraph and explaining it thoroughly before moving on to the next. Avoid jumping from one idea to another without proper explanation or transition.
grammar and accuracy
Your essay could benefit from a thorough review for grammatical errors and inconsistencies. Correct grammar and usage can significantly improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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