Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Usually, wealthy
countries
give away money to poorer countries
, meanwhile it does not solve most problems such
as neediness
Correct article usage
the neediness
in
Change preposition
for
foods
in these Fix the agreement mistake
food
countries
. In addition
, rich countries
should donate other type
of help to the poverty Change the wording
another type
other types
countries
rather than financial aid. In this
essay
I am going to argue about Add a comma
essay,
to
what points I Change preposition
apply
do
agree and disagreeVerb problem
apply
.
Change preposition
with.
Firstly
, the most important reason which I agree is that,
Remove the comma
apply
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
government
don’t Fix the agreement mistake
governments
use
the whole financial aid for people
Change noun form
people's
need
. They may steal a part of Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
for
themselves or Correct pronoun usage
it for
use
it in another way
. So, I hardly agree that the help should be in another way
like giving away frozen meats, frozen chickens
, Fix the agreement mistake
chicken
rice
. Correct word choice
and rice
This
way
maybe government
won’t have any other choice and would be forced to Correct article usage
the government
use
it for people
most of
Change preposition
apply
it
.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Secondly
, in none developed
Verb problem
non-developed
countries
many students, families and people
have no money to attend school and get education
Correct article usage
an education
subsequently
, the average educated people
will be low and the country can’t develop in the future too. So, another way
would be sending human help such
as teacher
or educated volunteer Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
people
to help people
to study and learn alphabet
and math and science, Correct article usage
the alphabet
as a result
, kids will have the opportunity to shine and grow in any field they are interested and talented, who knows maybe there will be an intelligent person like Albert Einstein.
In
the other hand, if we look Change preposition
On
to
the Change preposition
at
politic
side no country Replace the word
political
like
to see another country Correct subject-verb agreement
likes
grows
and later get ahead of them; Correct subject-verb agreement
grow
become
a threat Correct word choice
and become
for
them. Change preposition
to
Consequently
, donating money is a better way
in
Change preposition
to
this
extent. And letting fate decide how they will use
it.
To sum up
, by listening to our humanity side having a better world and making everyone everywhere feel safe and warm is the first priority of human beings cause every one
Replace the word
everyone
have
the right to live in a healthy area. Change the verb form
has
Overall
, the agreements outweigh the negative points.Submitted by TUTOO on
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relevant specific examples
Ensure that all points are adequately supported with clear and specific examples. For instance, the argument about governments wasting financial aid could benefit from concrete examples or statistics to strengthen its validity.
logical structure
Improve coherence by working on transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will help make the essay more fluid and easier to follow.
clear comprehensive ideas
Maintain a formal tone and avoid colloquial expressions such as 'who knows' and 'maybe.' This will help in making the essay more formal and academic.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion.
logical structure
The main points are outlined with examples, and there's a clear attempt to address both sides of the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.