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Band 4.5

At present, the media affects people's lives significantly. What impact does this have on society? Is it a positive or negative development?

#media #people #lives #impact #society #development
Nowadays, nobody can ignore the
media
 effects that have on human life. In
this
 essay, I want to examine the effects of
media
 on society and I express the development pros and cons. In the beginning, we should know that the
media
 has an important contribution to the progress of
people
's lives.
For instance
, they get to know each other through social
media
such
 as Facebook and Telegram and they advertise their work on Instagram. The
media
 has the task of informing
people
 with several programs.
Although
people
 can not live without
media
 in the new age, It does not mean that
media
 does not have any problems. One of the problems is that
people
 today spend more and more time using social
media
This
 causes them to lose their physical interactions in
such
 an atmosphere being alone is inevitable. Most
people
 in their leisure
instead
 of going to travel or picnic and enjoying life, are amused by
media
 that
this
 trend has destructive effects on family members and society. In conclusion, We want to have a more comfortable life and demand to use
media
 but, in the first stage, we should learn how and how much to use it. In
this
 case, the presence of
media
 plenty useful will be for individuals and society.
Submitted by omranz2013 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, it's essential to ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Try to organize your paragraphs effectively with clear topic sentences that introduce the point of each paragraph. Supporting sentences should also logically follow to develop your argument coherently. Use linking words and transitions to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, but avoid overuse or incorrect use.
Task Achievement
You need to address the prompt more directly by stating more explicit opinions or arguments on the impact of media on society and whether it's a positive or negative development. Your essay should reflect a full and consistent response to the task with a clear position throughout. Additionally, it is beneficial to support your ideas with a wider range of relevant examples and explanations that directly relate to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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