IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

At present, the media affects people's lives significantly. What impact does this have on society? Is it a positive or negative development?

#media #people #lives #impact #society #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, nobody can ignore the
media
Use synonyms
 effects that have on human life. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I want to examine the effects of
media
Use synonyms
 on society and I express the development pros and cons. In the beginning, we should know that the
media
Use synonyms
 has an important contribution to the progress of
people
Use synonyms
's lives.
For instance
Linking Words
, they get to know each other through social
media
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook and Telegram and they advertise their work on Instagram. The
media
Use synonyms
 has the task of informing
people
Use synonyms
 with several programs.
Although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 can not live without
media
Use synonyms
 in the new age, It does not mean that
media
Use synonyms
 does not have any problems. One of the problems is that
people
Use synonyms
 today spend more and more time using social
media
Use synonyms
This
Linking Words
 causes them to lose their physical interactions in
such
Linking Words
 an atmosphere being alone is inevitable. Most
people
Use synonyms
 in their leisure
instead
Linking Words
 of going to travel or picnic and enjoying life, are amused by
media
Use synonyms
 that
this
Linking Words
 trend has destructive effects on family members and society. In conclusion, We want to have a more comfortable life and demand to use
media
Use synonyms
 but, in the first stage, we should learn how and how much to use it. In
this
Linking Words
 case, the presence of
media
Use synonyms
 plenty useful will be for individuals and society.
Submitted by omranz2013 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, it's essential to ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Try to organize your paragraphs effectively with clear topic sentences that introduce the point of each paragraph. Supporting sentences should also logically follow to develop your argument coherently. Use linking words and transitions to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, but avoid overuse or incorrect use.
Task Achievement
You need to address the prompt more directly by stating more explicit opinions or arguments on the impact of media on society and whether it's a positive or negative development. Your essay should reflect a full and consistent response to the task with a clear position throughout. Additionally, it is beneficial to support your ideas with a wider range of relevant examples and explanations that directly relate to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: