IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, the quality of life in the large cities is becoming worse. What causes this problem? What measure can be taken to solve it?

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In some countries, it
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 a fact that
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of life is decreasing significantly, especially in the big cities. The true root cause of
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 is nowadays, it is even difficult for citizens to get some fresh air, and to overcome
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
estabilish
Correct your spelling
establish
 a strict policy in terms of gas emissions. Nowadays, the
pollution
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 in the central cities is worsening.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon happens
due to
Linking Words
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 of private vehicle usage, which omitted a huge quantity of carbon dioxide emission. Take Jakarta as an example. In 2023, it is recorded that the
pollution
Use synonyms
 level
reach
Change the verb form
reaches
show examples
 up to 80%, especially in the peak hours
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 use their cars to travel to their office.
As a result
Linking Words
, recent data from Indonesia's Ministry of Health states that the pneumonia disease in Jakarta
jump
Wrong verb form
jumped
show examples
 significantly to 3200 cases, and
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 has a direct link to
pollution
Use synonyms
 which
produced
Add a missing verb
is produced
show examples
 from dozens of private
vehichles
Correct your spelling
vehicles
. There are some ways to
answer
Verb problem
solve
show examples
 the
pollution
Use synonyms
problem
Use synonyms
, and one of them is by increasing
annual
Correct article usage
the annual
show examples
Use synonyms
car's
Change noun form
car
show examples
 tax to prevent
people
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 buying
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
, consumptively.
This
Linking Words
 solution is the most strategic way to push down the
pollution
Use synonyms
 generation since
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
road
Add an article
the road
show examples
 will reduce,
as a result
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 will think twice or more before
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 for themselves.
For instance
Linking Words
, Singapore's government
establishes
Wrong verb form
established
show examples
rule
Add an article
the rule
a rule
show examples
 that
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all citizens who have a private
car
Use synonyms
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should spend around $7900 each year.
Thus
Linking Words
, since the policy becomes official, the numbers of
car
Use synonyms
ownership
Replace the word
owners
show examples
dive
Wrong verb form
dived
show examples
 dramatically since
Singaporean
Fix the agreement mistake
Singaporeans
show examples
 do not want to spend huge
ammount
Correct your spelling
amount
amounts
 of their
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 just to pay
annual
Add an article
an annual
show examples
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
. As a concrete result, the
pollution
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 in Singapore is only about 15%, and the quality of life of Singapore citizens become the highest among countries in South East
Asian
Correct your spelling
Asia
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 feel that their quality of life is decreasing, especially in the central cities.
This
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 can caused by
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 struggle to get fresh air
due to
Linking Words
Use synonyms
pollution
Correct article usage
a pollution
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 uncontrollable. To solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
, I think
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should make a solid policy about annual
Use synonyms
car's
Change noun form
car
show examples
 tax as a strategic movement.

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task achievement
The essay presents an issue that is generally relevant to the task. However, it lacks a full exploration of the causes and solutions to the problem. It would benefit from a broader range of ideas and a more detailed explanation of the specific causes and their corresponding measures.
coherence cohesion
The essay displays some level of organisation and attempts to link ideas and concepts, but it needs to be more logically structured. The progression of ideas from cause to solution could be clearer, and paragraphing could be utilized more effectively to enhance readability.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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