Music is played in every society and culture in teh world. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#music #society #culture #teh #world #people #individuals #societies #influence

Music

was born centuries ago, when our ancestors played some instruments and melodies using their nearest things,

such

as bamboo, wood, or other natural ones. Generation by generation,

music

was well-developed, and until today we include high technology in producing

music

. Some

people

think

music

is one of the media that entertains humans. Others,

however

, think that

music

only brings negative impacts, especially to underage children. In

this

dialogue, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of

music

. Producing

music

is never easy. Musicians have to stitch the lyrics and the arrangement into a quality one.

That is

why

people

believe that

music

is a creativity that needs to be appreciated. With a peaceful and calm instrument,

music

for some

people

is created to make them more relaxed.

Music

also

helps some of them to refresh their minds after having a rough day. Some

people

who are considered as audiovisual humans need

music

to accompany their study. There is a fun fact in the United States that Taylor Swift, a well-known international singer-songwriter, surprisingly contributes to 15% GDP of the United States.

This

mind-blowing fact believes that

music

is not only for individuals, indeed it is

also

for a country's economic outgrowth.

Music

however

, has some dark days in every generation. We can mention Kurt Cobain, a vocalist of the top pop-rock band, Nirvana, who died because of

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

stress that he experienced during his time in the band. Many Korean Pop Singers killed themselves because of the exploitations that they had in the Korean

Music

Industry. Not only for musicians,

music

also

has some negative impacts on us, individuals, as listeners. There was a man in a country who was inspired to do suicide because of a song that he listened to. There was an arrest in a city in Indonesia because of

music

played in a discotheque. These facts imply that

music

although

considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

an art, has some rejections in some societies. In conclusion, I assume that

music

is a wonderful art that comes from masterminds.

Music

brings some joy.

However

, we need to be wise in responding the

music

and we can not let

music

influence the bad ones on us.

Submitted by semangatbanget.s2 on Sat Dec 23 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the structure of the essay. It should set the stage for the discussion that follows.

task achievement

Develop your ideas fully and elaborate on your examples. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea with sufficient explanation and example to support it.

coherence cohesion

Strive for a clear logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Avoid abrupt transitions and ensure that each paragraph naturally leads to the next.

coherence cohesion

Use a variety of cohesive devices appropriately. Overusing certain words or phrases can make the text feel repetitive.

task achievement

Conclude your essay by summarizing the main points and clearly stating your own position. The conclusion should reflect on what has been discussed and offer a final perspective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

365 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Music is played in every society and culture in teh world. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Each country censors the media in one way or the other. What are the pros and cons of censorship in the media?

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element for individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not tought, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Many people believe that social networking sites such as Facebook and Whatsapp have had a huge negative impact on both individual and society. To what extent do you agree.

In many countries smoking in now illegal in public places. Do you agree or disagree?