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Band 7

The graph shows the percent of academic facilities in 2012 between male and female.

The graph shows the percent of academic facilities in 2012 between male and female.
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The bar chart illustrates the count of academic
staff
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 in the Arts, business, education, law,
medicine
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, and science
faculties
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 in 2012 based on gender. In general, the majority of faculty employment was male.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
medicine
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 had a sharp
gap
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 between males and females. In terms of males in the
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faculties
Change noun form
faculty's
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staff
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, we can see the highest proportion was in engineering, with a count of 85%.
Furthermore
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, the number of men employers more a half was business, law, and science, which the value were approximately 65%, 60%, and 63%, respectively.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the highest
gap
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 between male and women employers was in engineering, with the
gap
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 being a fourth of total employers. Regarding female jobs in the several
faculties
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, we can see the highest
staff
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 in education
faculties
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 was women, with the number of
staff
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 reaching more than 70%. Followed by arts,
medicine
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, law, science, business, and engineering, where the value of women
staff
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 were approximately 58%, 50%, 40%, 38%, 35%, and 15%, respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the small
gap
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 between males and females was faculty of
medicine
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, which was a
gap
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 of only approximately 1%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words staff, medicine, faculties, gap with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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