Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?
All
experimentation
on animals
are
arguably bad, as some people believe it should be protected by law. Change the verb form
is
On the other hand
, some others are convinced that scientific research
can be beneficial for the
society. In order to find the best solution, I will cover both arguments Correct article usage
apply
through
Change preposition
in
this
essay.
Firstly
, animals
Change the noun form
animal
experimentation
sometimes can be considered as a selfish action. This
is
happened because of the demand from Verb problem
has
human's
society where Change noun form
human
human
are racing to create Fix the agreement mistake
humans
breakthrough
in any Fix the agreement mistake
breakthroughs
aspects
of the world. Fix the agreement mistake
aspect
While these
humans do not think about Correct word choice
These
environmental
consequences Correct article usage
the environmental
regarding
their Change preposition
of
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
to
the Change preposition
toward
animals
. Therefore
, some people are suggesting that the
Correct article usage
apply
experimentation
should be outlawed in order to protect the animals
' population from extinction.
Secondly
, important scientific research
need
to be supported through a clear regulation. Change the verb form
needs
This
is the part of the regulators such
as the research
authority, scientists association, and also
the government. Through a solid partnership, the research
program will receive a clear guideline. Moreover
, that will also
protect the object of the experimentation
, like animals
.
To conclude
, any types
of Fix the agreement mistake
type
experimentation
that involves any creatures are
frequently argued by some groups but Correct subject-verb agreement
is
this
research
will also
help the
society to solve its problem. An experiment that involves Correct article usage
apply
animals
should be outlawed in order to save their population. While any
experiments that Correct word choice
Any
uses
Change the verb form
use
animals
as an
Correct article usage
apply
object
should be protected through a guideline. Fix the agreement mistake
objects
Furthermore
, any kind of advance
Replace the word
advanced
research
should be supported but we should also
care about others, not only animals
but also
all creatures.Submitted by nadhif2799 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a strong logical structure which makes it difficult to follow your arguments. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and subsequent sentences should develop that idea with explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
You have an introduction and conclusion, but they are not fully effective. The introduction should more clearly state your position on the issue, and the conclusion should summarize the main points of your argument, reinforcing your stance.
coherence cohesion
Some of your main points are presented without enough support. Whenever you introduce an argument or viewpoint, make sure to provide clear explanations and where possible, use specific examples to back up your claims.
task achievement
Your essay only partially completes the task. You need to address the question more directly and develop your arguments more fully. Ensure that you answer all parts of the prompt, including the justification of animal experimentation and the discussion of alternatives.
task achievement
Your ideas are not expressed clearly and comprehensively. Strive for clarity by breaking down complex points into multiple sentences if needed, and aim for a more thorough explanation of your thoughts to ensure they are well understood.
task achievement
Your essay lacks specific examples to illustrate your points, which are essential in developing a convincing argument. Use real-world instances, factual data, or hypothetical scenarios to substantiate your opinions and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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