Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

All
experimentation
on
animals
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
arguably bad, as some people believe it should be protected by law.
On the other hand
, some others are convinced that scientific
research
can be beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In order to find the best solution, I will cover both arguments
through
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in
show examples
this
essay.
Firstly
,
animals
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animal
show examples
experimentation
sometimes can be considered as a selfish action.
This
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
happened because of the demand from
human's
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human
show examples
society where
human
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humans
show examples
are racing to create
breakthrough
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breakthroughs
show examples
in any
aspects
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aspect
show examples
of the world.
While these
Correct word choice
These
show examples
humans do not think about
environmental
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the environmental
show examples
consequences
regarding
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of
show examples
their
action
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actions
show examples
to
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toward
show examples
the
animals
.
Therefore
, some people are suggesting that
the
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apply
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experimentation
should be outlawed in order to protect the
animals
' population from extinction.
Secondly
, important scientific
research
need
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needs
show examples
to be supported through a clear regulation.
This
is the part of the regulators
such
as the
research
authority, scientists association, and
also
the government. Through a solid partnership, the
research
program will receive a clear guideline.
Moreover
, that will
also
protect the object of the
experimentation
, like
animals
.
To conclude
, any
types
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type
show examples
of
experimentation
that involves any creatures
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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frequently argued by some groups but
this
research
will
also
help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society to solve its problem. An experiment that involves
animals
should be outlawed in order to save their population.
While any
Correct word choice
Any
show examples
experiments that
uses
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use
show examples
animals
as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
object
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objects
show examples
should be protected through a guideline.
Furthermore
, any kind of
advance
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advanced
show examples
research
should be supported but we should
also
care about others, not only
animals
but
also
all creatures.
Submitted by nadhif2799 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a strong logical structure which makes it difficult to follow your arguments. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and subsequent sentences should develop that idea with explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
You have an introduction and conclusion, but they are not fully effective. The introduction should more clearly state your position on the issue, and the conclusion should summarize the main points of your argument, reinforcing your stance.
coherence cohesion
Some of your main points are presented without enough support. Whenever you introduce an argument or viewpoint, make sure to provide clear explanations and where possible, use specific examples to back up your claims.
task achievement
Your essay only partially completes the task. You need to address the question more directly and develop your arguments more fully. Ensure that you answer all parts of the prompt, including the justification of animal experimentation and the discussion of alternatives.
task achievement
Your ideas are not expressed clearly and comprehensively. Strive for clarity by breaking down complex points into multiple sentences if needed, and aim for a more thorough explanation of your thoughts to ensure they are well understood.
task achievement
Your essay lacks specific examples to illustrate your points, which are essential in developing a convincing argument. Use real-world instances, factual data, or hypothetical scenarios to substantiate your opinions and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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