IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

the table below shows stastistics about the top five countries for international tourism in 2012 and 2013.

the table below shows stastistics about the top five countries for international tourism in 2012 and 2013.
#stastistics #five #countries #tourism
The table
ilustrates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 a
number
 of statistics regarding international tourism in
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 five countries particularly in 2012 and 2013. It is noticeable that
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
tourists
 was ordered from highest to lowest
number
.
To begin
 with, France is most country that
visited
Add a missing verb
was visited
show examples
 by
tourists
 in 2012 and 2013. It was proven by the statistics of
trip
Fix the agreement mistake
trips
show examples
 that reached 83 and 84,7
milion
Correct your spelling
million
 for each year.
Whereas
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, Spain and China are in the middle position, which attained quite a lot of
number
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
show examples
 namely between 50 to 70
milion
Correct your spelling
million
 in 2012 and 2013.
In addition
, Italy achieved
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
show examples
number
 of
tourists
 in both
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
 namely 46,4 and 47,7
milion
Correct your spelling
million
.
Then
, In terms of
Change the article
a
the
show examples
number
 of
tourists
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
becomes
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the country that
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
much
Correct word choice
the most
show examples
 money on
tourists
spending
Verb problem
apply
show examples
with
number
 namely $126,2
bilion
Correct your spelling
billion
 in 2012 and $139,6
bilio
Correct your spelling
billion
 in 2013.
Next,
Frace
Correct your spelling
France
show examples
, Spain and China do state spending for
tourists
 with
number
Add an article
a number
show examples
 of expenses between $50 and $60
bilion
Correct your spelling
billion
 in 2012 and 2013.
Lastly
, Italy
positioned
Add a missing verb
is positioned
show examples
 to become
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 that
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
least
Change the article
the least
show examples
 money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
tourists
 spending namely $41,3
Correct your spelling
billion
bilion
Correct your spelling
billion
 in 2012 and $43,9
Correct your spelling
billion
bilion
Correct your spelling
billion
 in 2013
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, tourists, bilion with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: