Some think that all entertaining TV programmes should educate people about the importance of social issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, modern man is striving hard to maintain himself in the midst of
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
of evil practices in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. his physical and mental
strenghts
Correct your spelling
strengths
strength
are touching detrimental lows in the wake of social curses prevalent around him and talking of social
issues
, it has become quite a problem in the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
modern time. At the same time
TV
is
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
source the entainment so education via
TV
can play
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
role in the betterment of
society
but I am not in favour of the given context is all
TV
programmes should educate
people
.
TV
is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
important part of our daily life we get news and
entertianment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
from the
TV
. It can play
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
role
to educate
Change preposition
in educating
show examples
people
about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
issuses
Correct your spelling
issues
by
give
Change the verb form
giving
show examples
some sort of
messege
Correct your spelling
message
during shows. If every
TV
show
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
appeal
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
social
issues
it can divert
TV
Correct article usage
the TV
show examples
audience to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other means of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertainment like the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. So, for survival in
Correct article usage
a competative
show examples
competative
Correct your spelling
competitive
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
all
TV
progammes
Correct your spelling
programmes
should not be on social
issues
. Media is a mirror of
society
, So
TV
also
should give some knowledge about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
.
While
, entertaining they can
also
make some programmes on social
issues
and educate the
people
on these
issuses
Correct your spelling
issues
like domestic violence, overpopulation,
illterarcy
Correct your spelling
illiteracy
and so on.
This
can help to build
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
society
for everyone. In
nutshell
Correct article usage
a nutshell
show examples
, I can say that
TV
programmes are already playing
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
part to
entertaint
Correct your spelling
entertain
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
. Now
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsible
to make
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
change by learning from
TV
and
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
Correct article usage
a scial
show examples
scial enviroment
Correct your spelling
social environment
livable for every
humen
Correct your spelling
human
and living being .
Submitted by 13simran1990 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure which makes it difficult for the reader to follow your argument. Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs with topic sentences that clearly state the main idea.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure you have a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should state your overall opinion on the topic, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and reiterate your stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples or explanations. General statements without support do not contribute to a strong argument.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address the task directly by clearly stating to what extent you agree or disagree with the statement. Offer a nuanced opinion rather than sitting on the fence.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas fully to give a clear and comprehensive response to the question. Each paragraph should explore a single idea related to the task.
Task Achievement
Use relevant examples to support your points. Your examples should be specific and directly related to the key ideas you are discussing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: