Some people think advertisements control what we purchase, while others think they are useful sources of information on products. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #advertisements #control #purchase #sources #information #products

Many

people

believe that advertisements manage what products we buy at the store or market, meanwhile, others argue that it is a lucrative resource of data around the whole world. Each argument will be discussed and a reasoned answer will be drawn. On the one hand, the vast majority of society is mostly dependent on target-oriented advertisement tools.

This

is because of the rule of

Remove the article

apply

show examples

dynamite that marketing agencies generate in order to obtain more revenue by selling.

This

means that the choices of individuals are greatly influenced by famous celebrities in the entire world who effectively record the video advertisement and post it on their social media. Afterwards,

people

start to replicate their actions by not comprehending the dynamite effect.

For example

, when Johnny Depp was filmed in a huge corporation's ad, called Dior, the level of income had

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

escalated by 40 per cent around the world.

Therefore

, it is evident that marketing impacts the aimed prioritizes of society.

However

, the various strategies of selling the products can have a positive effect on some individuals who do not want to purchase.

Then

, they analyze the market and search for the most appropriate option. After the precise number of wins with regard to the

fluctuated

Replace the word

fluctuating

show examples

percentages in various shops, they bravely could afford something necessary.

For instance

, many

people

in Kazakhstan possess a habit of analyzing the market and ads of a plethora of magazines

such

as Sulpac, and IKEA in order to purchase domestic things. But the difference in prices after a good ad-video and paper-styled type of marketing made

people

buy from Technodom

store

Fix the agreement mistake

stores

show examples

. Because these strategies give households great data opportunities. In conclusion, I partly disagree with the statement that argues:

people

are managed by advertising,

while

the second notion works more logically regarding the net worth of the society and its effect on inflation makes the situation much more complicated as individuals can not easily obtain everything they want after the ads.

Submitted by zhomart on Sat Aug 31 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the argument, but some points lack depth and clear explanation. Enhance the discussion by providing more detailed arguments and examples for both perspectives.

coherence cohesion

While the essay has an introduction and conclusion, they can be more robust. Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating your thesis and reinforce the conclusion by summarizing the key points discussed.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences are complex and may hinder comprehension. Simplify your sentence structure and ensure each sentence clearly conveys its intended meaning.

task achievement

The writer attempts to discuss both sides of the argument, showcasing an understanding of the task requirements.

task achievement

The essay includes relevant examples, such as mentioning Johnny Depp and specific brands, to illustrate the points made.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear effort to structure the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

328 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think advertisements control what we purchase, while others think they are useful sources of information on products. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Your opinion

In many countries, the quality of life in the large cities is becoming worse. What causes this problem? What measure can be taken to solve it?

Some people think young people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Procastination between teenagers is said to be worsening. What is the cause of this problem and how can we solve this problem?

Many young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdor activities like hiking and climbing in nstural environment. Whu is this case? How theycsn be encouraged to go out?

Many High Street shops have gone out of business in recent years. Why do you think this has happened? Is it a positive or negative development?