Many famous sports players advertise sports products. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
User
There are a variety of athletes who openly endorse fitness products. In
this
essay, I will discuss why there are more pros than cons to this
notion and form a conclusion.
Firstly
, sporting legends that openly advertise goods to do with their field of work is
expected. Working in an industry Correct subject-verb agreement
are
that is
already based in the spotlight comes hand in hand
with brand deals. Add a hyphen
hand-in-hand
Therefore
, it is almost an expectation that when a sportsperson becomes internationally known, they will also
endeavour to promote equipment as part of a sponsorship. Not only does this
propel the brands
image but Change to a genitive case
brand's
brands'
also
facilitates the relevance of said person. Secondly
, the advertising of athletic goods by a person who is a significant figure for that game,
provides a degree of reassurance and credibility. Remove the comma
apply
This
is because,
they are likely to use Remove the comma
apply
such
items themselves and thus
must know what they are talking about. Furthermore
, children who idolise these heroes will likely purchase the same gear as they trust in what their heroes are suggesting. Again, this
in turn elevates both the people and the exercising
industry.
Replace the word
exercise
On the other hand
, becoming a global superstar results in pressure to stay relevant and popular among the masses. This
can be done through a series of avenues, such
as TV advertisements or instagram
sponsorship deals. The repetitive and constant chain of one type of merchandise can reduce the authenticity of what is being promoted. People may wonder how genuine the campaign is and whether the person is doing Change the capitalization
Instagram
this
purely for commission reasons. Additionally
, this
may put them off from purchasing as they are not sure about the true intentions of such
an add
.
In conclusion, there are more advantages of Correct your spelling
ad
such
types of promoting like,
trust and reliance compared to disadvantages.Remove the comma
apply
Submitted by abeera2012 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical structure in terms of progressing from an introduction to a body and conclusion, but the development of ideas seems abrupt at times. Aim to enhance the connectivity between your points with smoother transitions and better paragraphing to ensure each argument is fully developed before moving on to the next.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion cannot be considered fully effective because they are too brief and lack a clear thesis statement or summary of the main points. Ensure that your introduction presents the topic and your stance clearly, and your conclusion effectively summarises the arguments made.
coherence cohesion
Main points are presented, but they require more development and support. Each point should be expanded with detailed explanations and illustrated with specific, relevant examples to demonstrate a deeper understanding and engagement with the topic.
task achievement
Your essay manages to address the topic, but it falls short in fully responding to the task. Aim to provide a more balanced argument discussing both the advantages and disadvantages equally and exhaustively to meet the requirements of the question.
task achievement
Although your ideas are somewhat clear, they need to be discussed more comprehensively. You should elaborate on points to ensure a thorough exploration of the subject that reflects complex thinking.
task achievement
Your use of examples is good; however, they could be more specific and directly relevant to the point being made. Specificity adds persuasive power to your arguments and demonstrates an ability to apply critical thinking to real-world situations.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!