IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices would help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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It is argued that to reduce the level of pollution to some extent authorities would invest money in operating public transit and convenience the public to use them by reducing fares.
This
Linking Words
 essay disagrees with that statement because just by doing
this
Linking Words
 they cannot reduce pollution only by increasing motor vehicle coverage and
gas
Use synonyms
fare
Fix the agreement mistake
fares
show examples
 can do so. High
insurance
Use synonyms
 imposed by companies on commercial transportation would reduce the number of motor vehicles running on the road. To explain , in today's
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 it is very difficult for families to bear their expenses only with one income so both partners have to do hard work. To save money for the future
instead
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 of owning private vehicles with high
insurance
Use synonyms
 they would prefer public
transport
Use synonyms
 with
this
Linking Words
 they not only save their earning but
also
Linking Words
 save the environment.
For example
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, it is seen that in Toronto public
transport
Use synonyms
 is very effective and reasonable so people seem comfortable
instead
Linking Words
Change preposition
of
show examples
private motors.
Hence
Linking Words
, extra charges through
insurance
Use synonyms
 can save the environment.
Secondly
Linking Words
, by increasing
gas
Use synonyms
 prices we can see positive outcomes. To explain, in public
Use synonyms
transport
Add a comma
transport,
show examples
 if people get all comfort
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 low price without any extra price
then
Linking Words
 they would prefer it. It is
also
Linking Words
 seen that with a monthly pass system, it is affordable for people to commute anywhere within the city with low cost.
For instance
Linking Words
, in most countries buses run in separate lanes so it's easy for them to be on time.
Hence
Linking Words
,
gas
Use synonyms
 prices
also
Linking Words
 limit the common public to use more private vehicles. In conclusion, not only by investing in the
transport
Use synonyms
 system government can decrease pollution levels but by imposing high
insurance
Use synonyms
 and increasing the prices of
gas
Use synonyms
 can do so.

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task achievement
The introduction does not effectively paraphrase the question or state a clear position, and the conclusion is not coherent with the arguments provided. Clearer introductory and concluding statements are required.
coherence cohesion
Overall structure is unclear and there is a lack of clear topic sentences and logical paragraphing. The essay should present arguments in a more organized and logical manner.
task achievement
Important content such as clear reasons for your stance and relevant examples are lacking or not developed enough. The arguments need to be more thoroughly explained and supported by specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Sentences should be linked effectively using cohesive devices, but be careful to avoid overuse or incorrect usage of linking words which can lead to a drop in coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainable transport
  • Carbon footprint
  • Mass transit systems
  • Subsidize
  • Emissions reduction
  • Urban congestion
  • Modal shift
  • Incentivize
  • Commuter habits
  • Metro systems
  • Eco-friendly
  • Public subsidies
  • Accessibility
  • Ridership
  • Infrastructure development
  • Greenhouse gases
  • Operational efficiency
  • Integrated transport network
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