at the present time,the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults,compared with the number of older people. do the advantage of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #advantage #situation

These days, the population of some people (most land) includes a relatively large figure of young

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

Compared with the

statistic

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statistics

show examples

older

Add an article

the older

an older

show examples

population. Most folk do not want to have children.

This

is possible for various reasons, including childcare expenses and the deterioration of societies. In

Correct your spelling

this essay

thisessay

Correct your spelling

this essay

, I will explore the advantages and disadvantages of a large total of young

person

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people

show examples

,Compared with the sum of

older

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the older

an older

show examples

crowd. I will start by looking at the advantages. One of the essential advantages of

this

major is that

older

Correct article usage

the older

show examples

crowd have more experience, and they can help society and young

person

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people

show examples

.It can help

regime

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the regime

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to run public.

Secondly

,young

person

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people

show examples

can not run startups and big businesses;

however

,older folk can run new startups because they have money and can produce work. When producing work, The economy grows, And

community

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the community

show examples

can become rich.

On the other hand

,the workforce will decrease because older

nation

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nations

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, after retirement age, can not work correctly, and many jobs will be lost. So,

state

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states

show examples

need a workforce and are forced to accept immigrants.

This

may bring many social and economic damages,

Such

as the loss of culture and inflation for the nation who live in that country.

Also

, If one country has a large statistic of young

person

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people

show examples

Compared with the sum of

older

Add an article

the older

an older

show examples

population ,

state

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the state

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should spend more money on insurance. Every

person

, when they reach retirement age, needs insurance, And the duty of insurance and spending for the elderly is the responsibility of the government. In conclusion, It is not suitable for authority that the figure of

young

Add an article

a young

the young

show examples

person

is less than

older

Correct article usage

an older

show examples

family. So, the government is trying to accept young immigrants to fill

this

gap.

Submitted by bahram.azizzade on Sun Dec 24 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and previews the main points to be discussed.

logical structure

Structure your essay by developing clear and logically connected paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea.

supported main points

Provide clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to establish the main point, followed by supporting sentences to elaborate.

complete response

Adequately address both parts of the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages in a balanced manner and giving a clear opinion on whether one outweighs the other.

clear comprehensive ideas

Clarify the development of ideas with a range of vocabulary and sentence structures that accurately conveys your messages.

relevant specific examples

Include specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic to support your arguments and enhance the clarity of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

10 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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at the present time,the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults,compared with the number of older people. do the advantage of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railway and trams. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

The tendency of news reporters in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing sof skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.