The government should allocate more funding to teaching sciences rather than other sunbjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree?

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There is an educational controversy about whether the government invest more money into scientific studies for the development of the country or separate the funds equally for other
subjects
. From my perspective on
this
topic, I strongly believe that the government needs to allocate more funding for teaching sciences.
However
, some people assert that allocating more funding to only sciences can cause a bit of side effects for other
subjects
.
Firstly
, the importance of other studies might be ignored by students.
As a result
, students will be less interested in the
subjects
like history, and languages. These
subjects
are surely important to strengthen students' basic capabilities
such
as speaking and thinking in detail.
However
, it is
also
true that the importance of these
subjects
is not as essential as what it used to be regarded as in the past.
On the other hand
, several people say that almost everything in
this
modern world works based on science.
Correct your spelling
There
show examples
T here
Correct your spelling
There
show examples
are a lot of fields that have already been replaced by the development of science technologies
such
as AI Technology and
Submitted by pjh011205 on

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task achievement
The essay presents views on both sides of the argument, but fails to adequately develop them or provide a clear conclusion. This impacts the completeness of the response and the clarity of the ideas expressed.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has an understandable structure, it lacks a definitive conclusion which is crucial in establishing coherence. Additionally, transition between ideas needs to be smoother.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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