IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that public libraries are an important public resource and should be free. Others say that they are just a waste of public money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #libraries #resource #waste #money
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Public
libraries
 are considered one of the
world renowned
Add a hyphen
world-renowned
show examples
 indicators of civilization and public awareness of nations across the globe. In
this
 article, I will discuss the variable opinions about the importance of having
such
libraries
 and their accessibility,
then
 explain my own point of view. Starting since the era of written history, public
libraries
 have provided an unreplaceable source of information in almost all the knowledge fields that have been identified by humans. Lately,
along with
 the massive developmental jump achieved by the internet and search engines that can provide articles and trusted resources for almost any topic, many people started to question the need for public
libraries
 and consider these places as a waste of space, energy, and working force; justifying their assumptions by the presence of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 and its impact which I mentioned earlier in
this
 article and suggesting that governments should invest these buildings in something more relatable to our nowadays life demands.
On the other hand
, some people
are defending
Wrong verb form
defend
show examples
 the concept of public
libraries
, justifying their opinion by the need for having a place for people who value books and
paper work
Correct your spelling
paperwork
show examples
 as a resource of information, and the importance
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 having a source of written knowledge kept for historical reasons, and that
this
 source should be considered as a national treasure available for everyone at no cost. In my opinion, I think that public
libraries
 have a historical and cultural importance that should be respected and cannot be denied or replaced easily by the era of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and computerized resources, I
also
 believe that
such
libraries
 should be accessible
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 everyone at no cost.
Submitted by makahlehaseel on

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logical structure
Ensure that there is a clear introduction, body paragraphs that develop each view separately, followed by a conclusion summarising your position.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are important components of the essay. Make sure to include a distinct introductory paragraph with a thesis statement and a concluding paragraph where you restate your opinion.
supported main points
Elaborate on the main points by providing concrete examples or evidences to strengthen your arguments.
complete response
You have addressed the task partially: the topic is relevant but needs to be fully developed with a balanced discussion of both views and a more defined personal opinion. Provide a clearer comparison of both views.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are generally clear, but they require further development and clearer connections between them. Aim to include more supporting details.
relevant specific examples
The essay lacks relevant, specific examples to illustrate points. Aim to enhance your arguments by providing concrete examples to substantiate your claims.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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