Some people say that music a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

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Many

people

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opine and believe that

music

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is the best way to promote cohesion among

people

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of diverse

culture

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cultures

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and age groups. It can be beneficial for bringing individuals together for social causes. I completely agree with the statement that

music

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which is pleasant and widely acceptable can be used to promote harmony. One of the significant reasons that

music

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expels the barriers among different nations and cultures is that

people

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savour

music

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from every part of the world. It speaks the same language, which embodies human emotions

such

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apply

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sorrow, love and joy.

For example

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, some viral

music

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in foreign languages in our country signifies how it speaks our minds and

heart

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hearts

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rather than just a human language.

Moreover

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music

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has become the universal language that unites

people

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worldwide, regardless of nationality, race, religion, or creed. The foundations

and

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apply

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notes, and melodic elements of

music

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are similar worldwide. Recent research

releaves

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reveals

that humans all over the world share the same universal musical grammar. So,

people

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worldwide can comprehend the messages of

music

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regardless of its origin. The

music

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brings nations of disparate cultures

toghether

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together

through an overwhelming urge for solidarity, freedom and a sense of optimism.

On the other hand

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music

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is not good at reconciling the generation gap. In fact, from empirical evidence, most

people

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are inclined to enjoy the songs from their formative stages, and they very often look upon the current vogue of

music

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with disdain. Every epoch has its

music

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trend that profoundly shapes a particular paradigm of thought.

People

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tend to pick specific songs and singers that relate to a certain period of their lives.

To sum up

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, I believe that

music

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is unique in its capacity to create shared experiences between

people

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irrespectively

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regardless

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of culture

and

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apply

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age or country.

Submitted by bahram.azizzade on Sun Dec 24 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay provides a good structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, maintaining focus on the topic throughout. It can be improved by using a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to better link ideas and arguments, allowing for a more seamless reader experience.

task achievement

You have addressed the question directly and provided a clear opinion. Your arguments are relevant, but for an even stronger response, work on substantiating your points with a wider range of specific examples that illustrate the influence of music on cultural and generational cohesion more vividly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

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The benefits of computers in modern society far outweigh the disadvantages. What is your opinion?

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. Do advantage of this development outweigh this disadvantages.