The bar chart below shows the number of boys and girls playing different types of sports in a city in England called Canterbury in 2012.

#bar #boys #girls #sports #city #england #canterbury

The given graph compares the rate of youngsters playing seven different sports

according to

their gender in a specific city in England in 2012.

Overall

, it is evident that football and swimming were the favourite types of events for

boys

and girls, respectively.

In addition

, male participants were higher in all sports, except badminton and swimming.

According to

the bar chart, football and tennis allocated the greatest number of

boys

with 60 and 50 participants, respectively.

Then

boys

were interested in swimming and cycling more than the rest of the exercises.

Additionally

, badminton and hockey were on their end of favourite list almost by 30 and 15 people.

In contrast

, female kids literally were less keen on sports as compared to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

male ones.

However

, they tended to go swimming and play badminton more than

boys

with 50 and 40 people in each of them.

Next,

almost 38 girls attended the tennis event. Their willingness to do football

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and cycling was less than

boys

by 21 and 20 people.

Finally

, hockey was the least favorite same as

boys

Submitted by farzin_seyednejad on Sun Dec 24 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words boys with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

178 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The bar chart below shows the number of boys and girls playing different types of sports in a city in England called Canterbury in 2012.

some people believe that the fittest and strongest individuals and team always succeed in sports .others think that success in sports depends on mental attitudes.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that too much time and resources are spent on the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children should go to kindergarten before attending Primary School while other believe that it is better for children to stay all day with family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.