The bar chart below shows the number of boys and girls playing different types of sports in a city in England called Canterbury in 2012.

#bar #boys #girls #sports #city #england #canterbury

The given graph compares the rate of youngsters playing seven different sports

according to

their gender in a specific city in England in 2012.

Overall

, it is evident that football and swimming were the favourite types of events for

boys

and girls, respectively.

In addition

, male participants were higher in all sports, except badminton and swimming.

According to

the bar chart, football and tennis allocated the greatest number of

boys

with 60 and 50 participants, respectively.

Then

boys

were interested in swimming and cycling more than the rest of the exercises.

Additionally

, badminton and hockey were on their end of favourite list almost by 30 and 15 people.

In contrast

, female kids literally were less keen on sports as compared to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

male ones.

However

, they tended to go swimming and play badminton more than

boys

with 50 and 40 people in each of them.

Next,

almost 38 girls attended the tennis event. Their willingness to do football

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and cycling was less than

boys

by 21 and 20 people.

Finally

, hockey was the least favorite same as

boys

Submitted by farzin_seyednejad on Sun Dec 24 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words boys with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

178 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
the growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town adn cities closing . do you agree or disagree ?
Online shopping has been increasing tremendously as compared to the past days. However, some argued that virtual shopping will dominate all direct shops in future. While I do not believe that because most people like to buy things from the direct shops instead of online, purchasing from the online platform brings some befits such as time saving as well as providing many offers.
7
band
In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However, in some other cities, bicycles are replacing cars. What are the reasons for these two developments? In your opinion, which one better?
In modern days, there has been an increasing number of cars replacing bicycles in some cities due to time-saving, while cars also make way for cycles, which derives from environmental protection. This writer strongly claims that the cars’ replacement is a positive status quo because of the growth of public health.
4.5
band
In many countries people do not recycle their rubbish as much as they do. Why do you think this is? What can be done to change this?
Recycling used to be a new technology 30 years ago, since then, it has become a necessity for our environment. Recycling is quite important because ignoring it over the upcoing years will effect not just our future, but the future of the next generation. I beleive that the reasons in general depend on three different points; government policy, culture, and economic effect. Maximising all three points could lead to better recycling all over the world.
<4
band
Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Soma people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for all people. Some organisation is very good for somebody and again to opposite another humans.
5
band
In recent years, farming practice has changed to include methods such as factory farming and the use of technology to improve crops. Some people believe these developments are necessary, while others regard them as dangerous and advocate a return to more traditional farming methods. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.
These days,farmers use many chemical substances in farming that can be beneficial in terms of larger size of crops which can help to farmers meet to people's needs and address shortage of natural resources problem.While some people assert that these methods are necessary to address global demand for foods among individuals,others,including me,believe that it can affect welfare of animals adversely.

The bar chart below shows the number of boys and girls playing different types of sports in a city in England called Canterbury in 2012.

the growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town adn cities closing . do you agree or disagree ?

In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However, in some other cities, bicycles are replacing cars. What are the reasons for these two developments? In your opinion, which one better?

In many countries people do not recycle their rubbish as much as they do. Why do you think this is? What can be done to change this?

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.