The bar chart below shows the number of boys and girls playing different types of sports in a city in England called Canterbury in 2012.
The given graph compares the rate of youngsters playing seven different sports
according to
their gender in a specific city in England in 2012.
Overall
, it is evident that football and swimming were the favourite types of events for boys
and girls, respectively. In addition
, male participants were higher in all sports, except badminton and swimming.
According to
the bar chart, football and tennis allocated the greatest number of boys
with 60 and 50 participants, respectively. Then
, boys
were interested in swimming and cycling more than the rest of the exercises. Additionally
, badminton and hockey were on their end of favourite list almost by 30 and 15 people.
In contrast
, female kids literally were less keen on sports as compared to the
male ones. Correct article usage
apply
However
, they tended to go swimming and play badminton more than boys
with 50 and 40 people in each of them. Next,
almost 38 girls attended the tennis event. Their willingness to do football,
and cycling was less than Remove the comma
apply
boys
by 21 and 20 people. Finally
, hockey was the least favorite same as boys
.Submitted by farzin_seyednejad on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words boys with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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