In many countries today, everyday necessities like food and petrol have become very expensive. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In
this
modern world, the cost of everyday necessities such
as food
and petrol
has become increasingly expensive. In my opinion, the primary causes of this
issue are countries
' inability to produce local products and lack of alternative
. Fix the agreement mistake
alternatives
This
essay will explain what might have caused this
situation with relevant examples and what should be done to address this
problem.
Firstly
, many countries
that are unable to be self-sufficient in producing their own necessities may rely on other countries
for their supply. For example
, at the end
of 2022, the price of Indonesia
's fertilizers skyrocketed when the Russia-Ukraine conflict occurred. This
is because Russia stopped exporting their fertilizers to other countries
and unfortunately, the majority of Indonesia
's fertilizers were produced by Russia at that time, which led to a dramatic price volatility. As a result
, up until now, the fertilizer price in Indonesia
remains
high Wrong verb form
has remained
due to
Indonesia
's failure to balance their
supply and demand. Correct pronoun usage
its
Secondly
, lack
of Correct article usage
the lack
alternative
for certain Fix the agreement mistake
alternatives
food
and petrol
could be another reason why the prices have become so expensive. For instance
, the type of fuel that is
mostly consumed by Indonesians is gasoline, which is not renewable. The production of gasoline keeps on decreasing each day due to
the increasing population in Indonesia
which leads to energy scarcity. To suppress its demand, the government imposes a tax to secure the energy source because they do not have any option to substitute gasoline.
In conclusion, the reason why food
and petrol
prices are increasing day by day in many countries
is because
these Replace the word
that
countries
may not be able to produce their own products independently and fail to explore food
and petrol
substitutions. After thorough
analysis Correct article usage
a thorough
on
Change preposition
of
this
subject matter, it is predicted that government regulations play a pivotal role in raising public awareness such
as creating business competition incentives and supporting renewable energy vehicles by providing subsidies to their residents.Submitted by dewifarraprasasya on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure but still needs improved flow and connectivity. Employ a variety of cohesive devices to ensure paragraphs and sentences are well-connected, and thoughts flow smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more impactful. Strengthen your introduction by clearly stating the issues and your stance. In your conclusion, succinctly summarize your main points and restate your opinion to reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, yet they require further development and more varied supports. Elaborate on your ideas further and provide additional examples or evidence to reinforce each point.
task achievement
You addressed the task, but your response could be more complete. Ensure you fully develop your argument concerning both causes and the necessary actions. Expand on your ideas to provide a more exhaustive discussion.
task achievement
Your essay communicates clear ideas; however, for a higher score, you need to present these ideas more comprehensively. Work on deepening your analysis and providing a broader range of thoughts on each aspect of the question.
task achievement
The use of relevant specific examples is good but they could be more detailed and more directly related to the question. Try to illustrate your points with more precise and varied examples that directly tie back to the factors and solutions you are discussing.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion