IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Advantage of using electronic device in the classroom

#advantage #device #classroom
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The importance of using electronic devices in the classroom has become more common in the modern time. I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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 that its have some advantages easy to access by laptops their productivity will
enhance
Wrong verb form
be enhanced
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will attempt both approaches before reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
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the final verdict. To start with, the most prominent
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
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 is that students store their studies
lecture
Fix the agreement mistake
lectures
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 and make notes easily
by
Change preposition
on
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 laptops.
While
Linking Words
 studying learners
are become
Change to the active voice
become
have become
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 more
creatives
Fix the agreement mistake
creative
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 and they learn about presentation display to everyone.
Moreover
Linking Words
, nowadays all subjects related to Practicals and modern technology
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 business, marketing strategy,
engineering
Correct word choice
and engineering
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 based on project management and design
so
Rephrase
apply
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all with
help
Correct article usage
the help
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electronic
Change preposition
of electronic
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 devices which students
makes
Verb problem
apply
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design with the
helps
Change the wording
help
bits of help
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 of
software
Correct article usage
the software
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 Photoshop or Adobe
regards
Verb problem
apply
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this
Linking Words
 they start part time jobs.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there are
little
Correct word choice
apply
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disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
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by
Change preposition
to
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 using electronic devices on
the
Correct article usage
a
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 daily basis in
classroom
Correct article usage
the classroom
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 pupils
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
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 lethargic and
damaged
Wrong verb form
damage
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 their health
such
Linking Words
 as
eye
Fix the agreement mistake
eyes
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,
no
Correct pronoun usage
they no
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exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
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, they don't remember anything
so
Rephrase
apply
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according to
Linking Words
benefit
Correct article usage
the benefit
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Submitted by prit699731 on

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, at least two well-developed body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each body paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence and be followed by supporting details.
completion
Your essay appears incomplete as it lacks a conclusion. It's critical to finish your essay by summarizing your main points and restating your position to provide a complete response to the prompt.
clarity
When presenting ideas, aim for clarity and coherence by organizing them logically. Make sure there's a clear progression of thought from one sentence to the next.
examples
Include more specific examples to support your points. These not only demonstrate understanding but also contribute to the coherence and depth of your essay.
focus
Keep the focus on the prompt. Each paragraph should relate to the advantages of using electronic devices in the classroom, and any disadvantages discussed should be clearly contrasted to maintain a balanced argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Enhanced
  • Interactive
  • Engaging
  • Instant access
  • Resources
  • Collaboration
  • Personalized learning
  • Educational software
  • Digital literacy
  • Eco-friendly
What to do next:
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