Environmental issues have always been an international problem because governments are not imposing harsh punishments againts offender? To what extent do you agree or dis agree? Support your answer with specific reasons and examples.
Environmental problems are not only a local issue because every ecosystem is interconnected. The degradation in a tropical forest can affect the climate in
another part
of the Earth. The pollution Fix the agreement mistake
other parts
on
rivers and oceans can bring harmful consequences to either close or far away countries. So, I agree that when local governments are not applying harsh fee penalties against Change preposition
of
offender
, it can be an international subject.
Governments must struggle to prevent Fix the agreement mistake
offenders
environment
degradation. Replace the word
environmental
Overall
, there are two ways to do this
. The first manner is through the
education and persuasion. When Correct article usage
apply
the
education and persuasion do not work, the authorities must use punitive measures. Correct article usage
apply
However
, some nations have difficulties to apply harsh punishments, especially in multinational and rich companies. A currently
example Change the adverb
current
occurs
in Brazil, some years ago, in a small town called Brumadinho, Wrong verb form
occurred
which
a big enterprise in Correct word choice
where
metallurgic
area, called Vale, was responsible for an Add an article
the metallurgic
environment
accident. A rupture of Replace the word
environmental
dam
caused Add an article
the dam
spreading
Correct article usage
the spreading
mining
Change preposition
of mining
wasting
into the town, killing more than two hundred people. The government imposed a millionaire fee penalty, but the company only paid part of the fine and compensation and it is still arguing in court.
I believe that the most efficient way to avoid Replace the word
waste
this
type of disaster, besides
the fine by the local government, can be commercial restrictions by other companies, whether local or international suppliers and customers.
In conclusion, harsh punishment can serve as preventive
measure for potential offenders, but only Add an article
a preventive
the
international cooperation can effectively manage environmental issues. Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, education and public opinion are important to change harmful
behaviour of companies that only see profits.Correct article usage
the harmful
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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a limited ability to present information logically, and while there is some organization, the development of ideas can appear disconnected at times. It is crucial to focus on clear and logical sequencing of sentences and paragraphs to guide the reader effortlessly through the arguments.
coherence cohesion
Both an introduction and a conclusion are present, yet they lack a clear thesis statement and conclusive summary respectively. A more definitive stance in the introduction and a more comprehensive summary of the main points in the conclusion would enhance the effectiveness of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points throughout the essay are somewhat supported, but a deeper analysis and more diverse examples would strengthen the argument. Specific examples or case studies relevant to the question help to provide evidence for your claims and make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and provided a response; however, there is room for improvement in fully developing a clear and well-explained argument. Aim to elaborate on your ideas with detailed reasoning and additional supporting information to fully meet the requirements of the task.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant, but they need to be expanded upon to show a deep understanding of the topic. Aim to clarify your thoughts with explicit descriptions and comprehensive explanations to ensure the reader is presented with a complete picture of your standpoint.
task achievement
You have provided an example which is relevant, but to strengthen your position, it would be beneficial to incorporate more specific, real-world examples that directly support your viewpoint. This helps to illustrate your argument and provides the reader with concrete evidence of your claims.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.