IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Living in the countryside is better than living in the city. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#countryside #city
Living in the
countryside
 or in the city is a
debating
Replace the word
debated
show examples
 topic as they have their own advantages and disadvantages for the residents.
While
majoriy
Correct your spelling
majority
 of
people
 choose to settle down in urban cities, I believe it is better to live in the smaller
towns
 because they have lower living costs and
greater
Correct article usage
a greater
show examples
 environment.
Fisrtly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
,
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of living in the rural areas is lower than in the big cities.
For instance
,
people
 can save money spending on
grocercies
Correct your spelling
groceries
such
 as produce since they don't have to pay for
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
 transportation from the farmers to the shops.
Also
, they are fresher and better in quality.
Moreover
, housing
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
also
 lower,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, most of
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 residents have their own houses, which is barely affordable in the big city.
Therefore
,
people
 will have less expenses on essentials when they live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small
towns
.
Secondly
,
good
Add an article
the good
a good
show examples
 environment is one of the best things that
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 offers
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 citizens.
People
 can live closer to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and enjoy its beauty every day.
Besise
Correct your spelling
Besides
 that,
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
such
 as air and noise
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 less in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remote places.
Thus
,
people
 can have fresher air quality which is very beneficial for a healthy life. Take Japan as an example, studies found that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of Japanese old
people
 who have longevity are from
countryside
towns
. They
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 very
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 as they eat fresh produce and live close to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
Thus
, to have
healthier
Add an article
a healthier
show examples
 lifestyle,
people
 should live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small
towns
 which have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 environment. In conclusion, living in the
countryside
 is beneficial for human health since it has
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
,
as well as
 affordable living costs.
People
 can own houses and access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
good quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
produce at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lower costs.
Moreover
, living closer to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature allows
people
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
 a healthier lifestyle and stay away from
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
.
Submitted by thanhvan230688 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear logical structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, main points, and conclusion. Use a variety of linking words and transitional phrases to connect ideas and ensure smooth progression throughout your essay.
task achievement
Address the prompt thoroughly, ensuring you cover all aspects of the task. Expand on your main points with specific, relevant examples and explanations to fully support your arguments and illustrate your views.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tranquil
  • serenity
  • bustling
  • amenities
  • prospects
  • healthier lifestyle
  • employment opportunities
  • cultural experiences
  • educational institutions
  • noise pollution
  • cost of living
  • crowded
  • infrastructure
  • urban sprawl
  • communal ties
What to do next:
Look at other essays: