In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important. What are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?

The
people
in some unnamed countries decided to buy
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
rather than for renting for every year.
this
decision is very
importan
Correct your spelling
important
to
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
because the value of
money
for renting
home
Correct article usage
a home
show examples
in
Change preposition
over
show examples
many years is similar
with buy
Change preposition
to buying
show examples
a
home
.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
Despite this
show examples
, many
people
still
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
do the
way
to
rent
for living a
while
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
. I agree with them
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
a plan in future
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
a
home
event for a moment
live
Correct word choice
and live
show examples
in
rent
Replace the word
a rented
show examples
home
. I believe that every family have a big dream
to get
Change preposition
of getting
show examples
a
home
where there is no problem
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
the payment
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
last
day
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
every
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
. Some
people
are faced
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
hard
Correct article usage
a hard
show examples
way
to get comfortable living for their families,
with divide
Change preposition
by dividing
show examples
their salary into three
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
namely for daily
needed
Replace the word
needs
show examples
, education for
childreen
Correct your spelling
children
, and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
renting their living.
This
condition
push
Change the verb form
pushes
show examples
some families to make a decision to
choise
Correct your spelling
choose
a
rent
than buy a
home
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
side. Some
people
choice
Replace the word
choose
show examples
to buy a
home
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
using an opportunity from the bank.
Positive
Add an article
The positive
show examples
impact
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
option
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
for
people
does
Wrong verb form
who do
show examples
not have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
to buy a
home
, it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
them to defend
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
self
to stay
Change the verb form
staying
show examples
for a
while
to
looking
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
for a moment to get
permanent
Add an article
a permanent
the permanent
show examples
living room,
in
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
side, we
uses
Change the verb form
use
show examples
our
money
for
rent
every year but we don't have a
home
permanently.
Sometime
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
show examples
, the price of
rent
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
rapidly every year without our
conderation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
. So
this
is a big problem for them that living nomadent.
Positive
Correct article usage
A positive
show examples
impact for
people
that bought a
home
was
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
they have a good feeling without
Add a missing verb
being uncomfortabel
show examples
uncomfortabel
Correct your spelling
uncomfortable
come
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
from outside, but you must take a
way
how to get
house
Add an article
the house
a house
show examples
in early
carier
Correct your spelling
career
carrier
. You need more time to save
money
before
buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
the house and,
Correct article usage
a thingking
show examples
thingking
Correct your spelling
thinking
strategy to save your
money
from waste activity.
Negative
Correct article usage
The negative
show examples
impact
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
way
is
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
people
lose
thier patien
Correct your spelling
their patience
to
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
their
money
and
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
their
manivest
Correct your spelling
money
to
Add a missing verb
do other
show examples
other thing
Change the wording
another thing
other things
show examples
.
Sometime
Replace the word
Sometimes
show examples
they invest their
money
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
unbelievable
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by endangsepdanius on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction
Your essay lacks a clear introduction that presents the topic and your thesis statement. It is important to begin with a strong introductory paragraph that sets the stage for the rest of your essay and succinctly presents your argument or stance.
logical structure
The essay's structure needs significant improvement. Each paragraph should contain one main idea supported by relevant details and examples. The use of transition words could also improve the logical flow.
task response
You need to clearly address both parts of the question by discussing the reasons why home ownership might be considered important and by evaluating whether this phenomenon is positive or negative. Your essay should clearly convey your opinion on these matters.
supported main points
The use of specific examples and illustrations is necessary to support your points. These examples should be relevant and clearly linked to your main argument.
coherence cohesion
Sentences and ideas should be connected in a way that allows the reader to follow your argument without difficulty. This is achieved through clear, logical sequencing and the use of cohesive devices such as pronouns, conjunctions, and conjunction phrases.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural norms
  • symbol of success
  • long-term investment
  • financial security
  • asset appreciation
  • personal autonomy
  • modify surroundings
  • social significance
  • tax deductions
  • generational wealth
  • community engagement
  • housing bubble
  • real estate market
  • economic stability
  • mortgage financing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: