In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. What might be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
day and age,
people
Use synonyms
in several nations are finding their way to buy a house rather than feeling satisfied with the rental situation because a
home
Use synonyms
is a great asset in many cultures' mindset
that is
Linking Words
worth an investment. To my belief, it is an optimistic case, as from which, a strong sense of savings or
money
Use synonyms
management is formed. In relation to the cause of
Use synonyms
home owning
Add a hyphen
home-owning
show examples
emergence,
while
Linking Words
rental is seen as a liability, which
people
Use synonyms
end up not benefiting a single penny from at all,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ownership comes to light as a more promising future. Especially, with a supportive housing policy developed by some governments, citizens only have to pay upfront a certain percentage of the house's value and
then
Linking Words
pay the rest in monthly instalments that somehow
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
like a rental. Yet in the end, these
people
Use synonyms
can own a house of themselves without extra expenses and less worry about the future leasing cost acceleration. For these reasons,
people
Use synonyms
having the desire to have their lives including finance and
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
in order, are
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
more seen to go for
home
Use synonyms
ownership. As someone with
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
alike
Correct word choice
similar
show examples
mindset, I find
this
Linking Words
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
trend will help
people
Use synonyms
build up
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
enough
money
Use synonyms
management mindset from accumulative savings. It is way better than spending
money
Use synonyms
wildly or without any
further
Linking Words
purposes.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the dependable belief of citizens will ultimately be taken
cared
Replace the word
care
show examples
of by their governments' accommodation policy is
also
Linking Words
inappropriate and irresponsible. The reason is they are
ones
Correct article usage
the ones
show examples
who should care for themselves, plan for their future and where their
money
Use synonyms
goes to as well to be safer than to be relying upon anyone including their authority. In conclusion, the security of having an asset
such
Linking Words
as a
home
Use synonyms
other than the same amount paid out regularly but as a liability
due to
Linking Words
rental
Add an article
the rental
a rental
show examples
situation, more and more
people
Use synonyms
are readily set up for the plan of owning one. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
is a good option since it gives
people
Use synonyms
a great sense of savings and
money
Use synonyms
planning ahead of time.
Submitted by camcat.viking on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay would benefit from clearer organization. You should use a range of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments, ensuring smooth transitions between ideas.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, aim to fully address all parts of the prompt. Provide both sides of the argument, even if you agree more with one side. In this case, discussing some potential downsides or considerations regarding homeownership would make for a more balanced essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: