In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. What might be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In
this
day and age,
people
in several nations are finding their way to buy a house rather than feeling satisfied with the rental situation because a
home
is a great asset in many cultures' mindset
that is
worth an investment. To my belief, it is an optimistic case, as from which, a strong sense of savings or
money
management is formed. In relation to the cause of
home owning
Add a hyphen
home-owning
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emergence,
while
rental is seen as a liability, which
people
end up not benefiting a single penny from at all,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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ownership comes to light as a more promising future. Especially, with a supportive housing policy developed by some governments, citizens only have to pay upfront a certain percentage of the house's value and
then
pay the rest in monthly instalments that somehow
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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like a rental. Yet in the end, these
people
can own a house of themselves without extra expenses and less worry about the future leasing cost acceleration. For these reasons,
people
having the desire to have their lives including finance and
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
in order, are
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
more seen to go for
home
ownership. As someone with
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
alike
Correct word choice
similar
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mindset, I find
this
as
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apply
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a
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
phenomena
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phenomenon
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.
This
trend will help
people
build up
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
enough
money
management mindset from accumulative savings. It is way better than spending
money
wildly or without any
further
purposes.
Consequently
, the dependable belief of citizens will ultimately be taken
cared
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care
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of by their governments' accommodation policy is
also
inappropriate and irresponsible. The reason is they are
ones
Correct article usage
the ones
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who should care for themselves, plan for their future and where their
money
goes to as well to be safer than to be relying upon anyone including their authority. In conclusion, the security of having an asset
such
as a
home
other than the same amount paid out regularly but as a liability
due to
rental
Add an article
the rental
a rental
show examples
situation, more and more
people
are readily set up for the plan of owning one. In my opinion,
this
is a good option since it gives
people
a great sense of savings and
money
planning ahead of time.
Submitted by camcat.viking on

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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay would benefit from clearer organization. You should use a range of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments, ensuring smooth transitions between ideas.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, aim to fully address all parts of the prompt. Provide both sides of the argument, even if you agree more with one side. In this case, discussing some potential downsides or considerations regarding homeownership would make for a more balanced essay.

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