Today’s teenagers struggles with many social issues. Some people think that this is because their parents are spending more time at work than at home. Do you agree or disagree?

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In
modern
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the modern
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world,
youngster
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youngsters
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social skills are
under developed
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underdeveloped
show examples
. Which
developing
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develops
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poor communities and many other issues. I
toallly
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totally
agree with the statement that people
send
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spend
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more
time
on
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at
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work than at home. First of all,
teenage
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the teenage
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is
Verb problem
years are
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very
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a very
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sensitive and crucial
time
of
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for
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every
kids
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kid
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.
In which
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Which
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gudiance
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guidance
has to play
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a
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major role
to guide
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in guiding
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them about bad or good .As
teenagers
are not
matures
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mature
show examples
to
take
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make
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better
decisons
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decisions
, they always look for better support. No one else can provide them
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with
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better
advise
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advice
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,
instead
of their own
parents
. In
absence
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the absence
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of their
parents
, they always search for
second
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a second
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option. where the common search they do
on
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apply
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online and start connecting more to
virtual
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the virtual
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world
instead
of the real
society
.
In these
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These
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days
its
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it's
it is
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very common to see in
society
that most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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teenagers
lost
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are lost
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in
electronics
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electronic
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gadget
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gadgets
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.
In
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As
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result
Correct article usage
a result
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, its common behaviour is developing not to talk and share
thing
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things
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with anybody.
Moreover
,
youngsters
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youngsters'
youngster's
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brains are not
tarined
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trained
to carry that much vast information from online sources. which developed
sicatric
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sciatic
among them.
secondly
, most
of
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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parents
spend most of their
time
at work to make extra income.
where
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and
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they
forgot
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forget
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that their main asset is
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their childerens
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childerens
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children
children's
. once
the
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apply
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time
is passed
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passes
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and
teenagers
who
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apply
show examples
becomes
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become
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adults, they
did
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do
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not care for their own
parents
. which
creating
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creates
show examples
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
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of disputes in
society
and families.
Thirdly
, In
absence
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the absence
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of
right
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the right
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gudience
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guidance
audience
in
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apply
show examples
teenage
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teenagers
show examples
developed
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develop
show examples
some criminal behaviours in people. which is very dangerous to the
society
At
last
,
i
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I
show examples
agree that
parents
spend their most of
time
at work. which
Correct your spelling
leads
leeds
Correct your spelling
leads
to poor
Correct your spelling
development
developmnet
Correct your spelling
development
of social behaviour of
teenagers
Submitted by liftruxinc on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks logical structure and clear paragraphing, which impacts the coherence and flow of ideas. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the paragraphs flow logically from one to the next. Use transition words to better link your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but are not effective in clearly presenting the topic and summarizing the main points of the argument. Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments without adding new information.
coherence cohesion
The points made are somewhat supported, but the supporting sentences are often incomplete or incoherent. Develop each main point with clear explanations, examples, and arguments that logically support your viewpoint.
task achievement
While the essay attempts to address the topic, it doesn't fully respond to the prompt in a clear or comprehensive way. Make sure to stay focused on the question throughout the essay and fully answer all parts of the prompt.
task achievement
Your ideas are not fully expanded upon, and there is a lack of clarity in the expression of your thoughts. Work on clearly articulating complex ideas with properly structured sentences and defined vocabulary.
task achievement
The essay uses minimal and non-specific examples. Incorporating relevant, specific examples is essential for effectively illustrating your arguments and strengthening your essay. Aim to include at least one strong example per main point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Parental guidance
  • Supervision
  • Neglect
  • Peer pressure
  • Quality time
  • Unhealthy attention-seeking
  • Online safety
  • Support systems
  • Community programs
  • Independent problem-solving
  • Family dynamics
  • Emotional well-being
What to do next:
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