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Writing Samples
Band 4

Because of the rising cost of living, many young people are increasingly being forced to live with their parents into their 30's. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#cost #people #parents
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Yes, living with their
parents
Use synonyms
 has more advantages than disadvantages. Nowadays
price
Add an article
the price
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 of each and every material
have
Change the verb form
has
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 increased to a very great extent
while
Linking Words
 the source of income is low. So, almost every person needs to run expenses
in
Change preposition
on
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low
Correct article usage
a low
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 budget. Those people who live alone
faces
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face
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 several problems in
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
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 life. With their
parents
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, they do not need to cook food and do household chores for them like washing clothes, ironing clothes etc. In the time of some problems,
parents
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 help them to sort out and they guide everything in all aspects of life.
Moreover
Linking Words
, boys and girls living with their
parents
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 learn good manners
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to those who live alone. As we learn from our
parents
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 ,
so
Correct word choice
apply
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it is very necessary to live with them. The people who
goes
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go
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 out of the city either for study or work find several small problems in daily life which they need to sort out themselves like eating out makes their health in bad condition. So, if they were with their
parents
Use synonyms
than
Correct your spelling
then
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this
Linking Words
 may not happen. In my city, a student goes out to study
hundred
Correct your spelling
hundreds
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 of miles away from home town. After six months of study, he was badly covered by dengue and got into the hospital and his father went there to take him
to
Change preposition
apply
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home. In conclusion, living with
parents
Use synonyms
 has more benefits
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
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 living alone and there is no chance of getting involved in bad groups. In the end the most
importan
Correct your spelling
important
 thing is that the people of societies should encourage the
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 to live with their
parents
Use synonyms
 as it
make
Change the verb form
makes
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 them good
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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.
Submitted by vipinchoudhary7247237409 on

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structure
Ensure you introduce your topic clearly and concisely, stating the question and your position, and wrap up your essay with a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position.
coherence
Work on the logical sequence of your ideas. Use transition words and phrases to help your essay flow more naturally and to guide the reader from one point to the next.
task response
Support your main points with specific examples and details. General statements are less persuasive than those that include clear, concrete examples that support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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