IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important. What are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?

The importance of owning a home rather than renting
apartment
Add an article
an apartment
show examples
 which was always
debateble
Verb problem
been debated
show examples
 many people
claiming
Wrong verb form
claim
show examples
that
Linking Words
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 is beneficial
while
Linking Words
 others reject
this
Linking Words
. I believe that it is
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 development by owning
home
Add an article
a home
show examples
. I
accord
Verb problem
agree
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the formal notion of discord. To initiate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
, Property is
indespensible
Correct your spelling
indispensable
 for
people's
Change noun form
people
show examples
for purchased
Change preposition
to purchase
show examples
 lands and
building
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
homes
Use synonyms
 which causes humans
have
Verb problem
to be
show examples
 stress
free
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
 owning
home
Add an article
a home
show examples
 and making
wealths
Change the wording
wealth
signs of wealth
show examples
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 lands which helps to increase their portfolio in the future.
Further
Linking Words
, landowners focus on their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 as well and spend time with family members
also
Linking Words
 easily
managed
Wrong verb form
manage
show examples
 their expanses and
no
Add a missing verb
have no
show examples
 tension for monthly
mortgage
Fix the agreement mistake
mortgages
show examples
. The economy
was
Verb problem
will
show examples
 grow no longer poverty will
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
because by
this
Linking Words
 people
make
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
employment
Replace the word
employed
show examples
 by
constructed
Wrong verb form
constructing
show examples
 houses we need
arthitect
Correct your spelling
architecture
, building materials, furniture, carpainter,
electrition
Correct word choice
and electrition
show examples
 which is all get work and earn
money
Use synonyms
 which will
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 to
money
Use synonyms
flows
Correct subject-verb agreement
flow
show examples
 in
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 and the country will be develop. There are some negative
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
show examples
 who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 working or studying under the
aged
Replace the word
ages
show examples
 of 30 to 21 between
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 ages youngsters
had
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 too much
money
Use synonyms
spent
Verb problem
apply
show examples
on liabilities
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 cars or
homes
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they get loans from banks for purchasing
homes
Use synonyms
 and cars
Linking Words
therefore
Add the comma(s)
, therefore
show examples
, making too much debts traps
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 that's the reason
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they do not capable
to earn
Change preposition
of earning
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 sufficient to
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
homes
Use synonyms
further
Linking Words
 they do not able to
payback
Correct your spelling
pay back
show examples
loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
show examples
 to banks. So,
my
Change preposition
from my
show examples
 perspective
youngerster
Replace the word
younger people
show examples
 need to rent
apartment
Add an article
an apartment
show examples
while
Linking Words
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are
studies
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 and working it will
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 to maintain
easy
Add an article
an easy
show examples
 life.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
Although
Linking Words
 it is
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 development who have enough
money
Use synonyms
 to purchase property and for
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 of
nation
Add an article
the nation
show examples
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there few negative
impact
Change to a plural noun
impacts
show examples
 under the
aged
Replace the word
age
show examples
 of 30 will be not be denied.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay's overall structure is weak, with disorganized ideas and a lack of clear progression. An effective essay needs a logical sequence of ideas, clear paragraphing, and a balance between introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay fails to fully address the task. The response to the prompt about the causes of preferring home ownership over renting and whether it is a positive or negative development is incomplete. The essay needs a clear position throughout with appropriate expansion on all parts of the task.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural norms
  • symbol of success
  • long-term investment
  • financial security
  • asset appreciation
  • personal autonomy
  • modify surroundings
  • social significance
  • tax deductions
  • generational wealth
  • community engagement
  • housing bubble
  • real estate market
  • economic stability
  • mortgage financing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: