You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree. You should write at least 250 words.

There are many
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
that
students
should learn when they are young, skill and academic knowledge. There is an idea that schools should provide and focus only
Change preposition
on academic
show examples
academic
Change preposition
on academic
show examples
success, and abandon
skills
, which are cooking, dressing, and woodworking
for example
, development because
children
should learn them from their family and friends. From my point of view, I do not agree with
this
statement, and the reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs. There are many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
that schools should provide
skills
practicing for
students
. For the first
reason
,
students
should spend their rest time at their home
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing what
thay
Correct your spelling
they
want, which can be
hobby
Add an article
a hobby
show examples
, reviewing
Correct article usage
an interested
show examples
interested
Replace the word
interesting
show examples
subject, or developing unique
skills
. The problem is that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
may
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not interested in some necessary
skills
,
therefore
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
should teach those
skills
in the schools
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
purpose
Add an article
the purpose
show examples
of making sure that all
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
have those
skills
.
For example
, some
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
may not interested in cooking,
then
they do not
cooking
Change the verb form
cook
show examples
when they are at home. If
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
do not teach them to cook, they will not be able to cook when they are adult. Another
reason
is that some families
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not have resources to support their
children
, which can be money or time.
Therefore
,
children
may not have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
to learn those
skills
.
For example
, woodworking is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
skill that
have
Verb problem
requires
show examples
to use
tools
Change preposition
of tools
show examples
and a workshop to study, and requires experts
for teaching
Change preposition
to teach
show examples
and
controlling
Wrong verb form
control
show examples
safety.
As a result
, there are very few
family
Change to a plural noun
families
show examples
that have members who can do woodworking, and have proper tools.
From
Change preposition
For
show examples
this
reason
,
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
have to provide
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their
student
to practice those
skills
at
school
. In conclusion,
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
should not only focus on academic achievement
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
basic
Change preposition
on basic
show examples
skills
that
important
Add a missing verb
are important
show examples
for living for many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
.
Firstly
,
students
should spend their time freely when they are at home, and learn those
skills
at
school
.
Secondly
, some families cannot train their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
,
therefore
developing the
skills
should not rely on
children
's families and friends. The government should provide
cost
Add an article
the cost
a cost
show examples
of developing basic
skills
to all
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
and train teachers to be able to teach
thair
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
students
.
Submitted by bhurin.kua on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but there are gaps in the development of your argument. Strengthen your response by consistently expanding on your main points with clear reasoning and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical progression of ideas. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, followed by explanations and examples related to the topic. Use cohesive devices effectively to link your ideas together.

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