IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some believe studying alone is better and while some others believe group study is far good. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#believe #group #study
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
the more the merrier
due to
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help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 each other and it is more fun and not frustrating someone is around you get distracted and you can focus on each
study
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 that
they
Correct pronoun usage
you
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 want Nowadays, studying has become a crucial issue for students and parents. Some
people
Use synonyms
 are of the opinion that students have to
study
Use synonyms
 by themselves
although
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 others think they can learn better in groups.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and provide my personal opinion. On the one hand, it is argued that we are more efficient when we
study
Use synonyms
 in
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group
Add an article
a group
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.
Firstly
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, the members of
Use synonyms
group
Add an article
the group
a group
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 can help
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
 to enrich their understanding. It makes them learn properly and solve easily their problems.
In addition
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, the more, the merrier
due to
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 the fact that being in a
group
Use synonyms
 is not only having more fun but
also
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 boosting their spirit.
For example
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, most
people
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 can spend more chunks of their time
to
Change the verb form
studying
show examples
study
Use synonyms
 when they are around their peers ,compared with others who
study
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 on their own.
As a result
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, it can be somehow plausible to
study
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 with your friends. On the one hand, it is believed among
people
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 that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 have to
study
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 by themselves. To start with, if someone is around us, we might
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
get distracted, because they would make some noise and so on. thereby, making us lose our
focused
Change the form of the verb
focus
show examples
.
Moreover
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, when we
study
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 alone, we can
study
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about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each subject that we want, but if we were in a
group
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,the members of
people
Use synonyms
 likely have different opinions.
for instance
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, someone
want
Change the verb form
wants
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 to learn physics and
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
focused
Change the verb form
focus
be focused
show examples
 on
this
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 subject, but if he
was
Wrong verb form
is
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 in a
group
Use synonyms
 and others desperately want to learn chemistry , he
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 learn chemistry apart from physics.
Therefore
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, it can be certainly said that it is not only beneficial but
also
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 necessary. All things considered, I believe,
although
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 studying in groups has some plus points
such
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 as having more fun and
reaching
Verb problem
getting
show examples
 some help from your peers, there are essentially important
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 for studying
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our own
such
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 as choosing a subject which we need and concentrating better.
Submitted by behshad_arabzadeh on

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coherence cohesion
Work on logically structuring your paragraphs and ensuring smooth transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the introduction and conclusion structures, ensuring the conclusion is reflective of the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed and relevant examples to strengthen the arguments.
task achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion of both views before expressing your opinion, and fully answer all parts of the question prompt.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively, provide deeper analysis and explanations.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples that are fully developed and relevant to the argument you are presenting.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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