Some people believe that traveling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Have you ever thought about travelling in the world in 80 days as Passepartout did in the famous book by Jules Verne? To many people, the idea seems interesting and travelling in general sounds attractive, but it is much more than just visiting interesting
places
. It requires a lot of arrangements and effort, and in my opinion, it is a waste of money
and time
.
Firstly
, travelling is not cheap. It is true that nowadays an average person can afford to travel
the world because it is not as expensive as it used to be in the past, but from the moment you set off on a journey, you keep spending money
. You must pay for transportation, lodgings, food, tourist attractions and other unexpected things that always happen when you travel
. In return for all your effort, you reach your destination and visit
a place which you could also
visit
virtually by watching a good documentary on TV. Moreover
, places
and things that you watch on TV are all free of charge, whereas
visiting them in person costs money
and time
.
Travelling is time
-consuming. Instead
of doing things at home, you spend long hours sitting in your car, on the bus, on the plane, or
waiting at the airports, railway or bus station, or just trying to find your way. Each real journey takes Correct word choice
apply
time
. On the other hand
, any virtually
journey saves you a lot of Change the adverb
virtual
time
. Without leaving your home, you can find yourself on the other side of the world, visiting a rainforest or a desert, within a few minutes. What is more, you can also
see the places
which may not be accessible to tourist
, at all
And Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
last
but not least, for all the money
and time
you spend on travelling, for all money
and Correct article usage
the money
time
you spend on travellong
, you may get a disappointing experience. The Correct your spelling
travel long
places
you go may not be as impressive and unique as you thought. Travelling is stressful and challenging. You often suffer from fatigue, heart, thirst or hunger which usually disturb the feeling or
joy, happiness and Correct your spelling
of
fulfillment
.
Change the spelling
fulfilment
To sum up
, in my opinion, travelling is much overrated and not worth the trouble. There are many cheaper ways to visit
and learn about the places
which interest you without spending a penny. Instead
of wasting your time
on planes and buses, you can attend a slide show, visit
a travel
blog, or watch a documentary. You can travel
virtually and still enjoy it.Submitted by thuhuyen16992qn on
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introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear and concise introduction that clearly states the topic and previews the main points. Consider adding a thesis statement and a roadmap of the points to be discussed.
complete response
While the essay presents an opinion, it fails to fully address both views as required by the task. Make sure to discuss both sides equally before presenting your own opinion to meet the requirements of the question.
relevant specific examples
The ideas are relevant but not sufficiently developed with clear and specific examples. Integrate more concrete examples and illustrations to strengthen the arguments and make the essay more persuasive.
logical structure
The essay demonstrates some organization, but the structure could be improved. Ideas can be better connected for the reader by using more transition phrases and clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
supported main points
To improve cohesion, ensure that each paragraph revolves around a single main point. Additionally, utilize a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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