The line graph illustrates the number of visitors in millions from the UK who went abroad and those that came to the UK between 1979 and 1999, while the bar chart shows which countries were the most popular for UK residents to visit in 1999.

#line #visitors #millions #uk #bar #countries #residents #visit

The given line chart indicates some information about

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of visitors who

visit

Wrong verb form

visited

show examples

Remove the preposition

apply

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and from the

between 1979 and 1999. It is clearly evident that the

residents who travelled abroad was about 11

millions

Change to singular

million

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in 1979 which was higher

that

Correct your spelling

than

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the proportion of overseas residents.

This

number had a considerable increase over the next

twenty-years

Correct your spelling

twenty years

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and reached a peak of over 50

million

individuals in 1999.

Besides

that, tourists who came to the

were 10

million

in 1979, but

this

proportion experienced a slight growth to approximately 28

million

visitors in 1999.

Further

, the second chart illustrates

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

popular destinations

Change preposition

for

show examples

English people in 1999. It is crystal clear that Franch was by far the most

favorable

Change the spelling

favourable

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place with 11

million

visitors. After that, with a slight

difference

Add a comma

difference,

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we observe Spain as the second most interested country with about nine

million

English tourists.

Last

but not least, the USA, Greece, and Turkey are three other countries which were desirable for the

society with about four, three, and two

million

spectators, respectively.

Overall

, it is utterly obvious that England's citizens liked to travel overseas more than other

nation's

Fix the agreement mistake

nations'

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population

Fix the agreement mistake

populations

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who desired to visit the

Additionally

Franch

Correct your spelling

France

show examples

and Spain were the most popular destinations.

Submitted by tg.persian on Mon Dec 25 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, million with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

209 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The line graph illustrates the number of visitors in millions from the UK who went abroad and those that came to the UK between 1979 and 1999, while the bar chart shows which countries were the most popular for UK residents to visit in 1999.

In the past, people lived in one place for a long time , but now they can live in many different places what are the reasons ? Is this positive or negative development ?

In some countries students pay their own college or university fees while in others, the government pay for them . Do you think the advantages that government pays the money outweigh the disadvantages .

Music play an important role in society, others think it is simply a form of entertainment for individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion

There is a moral necessity today for the richer countries of the world to help the poorer countries develop in terms of feeding the population, education, and healthcare. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?