The chart below show the percentage of the day working adults spent doing different activities in a particular country in 1958 and in 2008.
The pie charts below represent the
percentage
of various activities that adults do during the day in a country in each of 1958 and 2008. There are six different activities, which consist of Sleeping, Traveling to work, Working, Relaxing at home, Going out with friends or family, and others.
Use synonyms
Overall
, the highest Linking Words
percentage
of activity in both years is recorded as working, which is 33 Use synonyms
percent
in 1958 and 42 Change the spelling
per cent
percent
in 2008. Change the spelling
per cent
On the other hand
, the lowest Linking Words
percentage
of activity for both years is varied. In 2008, Use synonyms
traveling
to work took only 2 Change the spelling
travelling
percent
of its whole day activity, Change the spelling
per cent
however
, it was 8 Linking Words
Use synonyms
percentage
in 2008. Replace the word
per cent
However
, the second highest Linking Words
percentage
of activities in both years Use synonyms
were
recorded in sleeping.Correct subject-verb agreement
was
Submitted by pjh011205 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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