The chart below show the percentage of the day working adults spent doing different activities in a particular country in 1958 and in 2008.

#show #percentage #adults #activities #country

The pie charts below represent the

percentage

of various activities that adults do during the day in a country in each of 1958 and 2008. There are six different activities, which consist of Sleeping, Traveling to work, Working, Relaxing at home, Going out with friends or family, and others.

Overall

, the highest

percentage

of activity in both years is recorded as working, which is 33

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in 1958 and 42

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in 2008.

On the other hand

, the lowest

percentage

of activity for both years is varied. In 2008,

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

to work took only 2

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of its whole day activity,

however

, it was 8

percentage

Replace the word

per cent

show examples

in 2008.

However

, the second highest

percentage

of activities in both years

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

recorded in sleeping.

Submitted by pjh011205 on Mon Dec 25 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

122 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-life balance
technological advancements
leisure activities
household chores
gender roles
modern lifestyle
fast food trends
sleep patterns
health and well-being
societal impact

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The chart below show the percentage of the day working adults spent doing different activities in a particular country in 1958 and in 2008.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that zoos are cruel and have no place in the modern world. Others feel that zoos still serve a useful purpose. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Many people think that the government should spend money to explore the outer space, while others believe that it’s a waste of public money. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.