In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Nowadays, the
growing
of Replace the word
growth
fast
Correct article usage
the fast
food
industry causes the incline of Use synonyms
unhealthy
society. Add an article
an unhealthy
Due to
that circumstance, there is an opinion Linking Words
whether
the Change preposition
on whether
government
should apply a higher Use synonyms
tax
. I believeUse synonyms
,
it is a good solution to decrease fast Remove the comma
apply
food
consumption. The Use synonyms
government
should consider Use synonyms
this
action Linking Words
due to
the rising of deathly diseases as Linking Words
align
as the increasing of fast Wrong verb form
aligned
food
Use synonyms
restaurant
. Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
Furthermore
, Linking Words
higher
Add an article
the higher
Use synonyms
tax
will make the fast Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
food
price up, Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
consumer
will think twice Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
to buy
it.
Fast Change preposition
about buying
food
is a crucial problem that we face as their Use synonyms
negative
impact on health. When Correct article usage
a negative
people
eat too much fast Use synonyms
food
, it will Use synonyms
rise
their chance Verb problem
increase
to get
serious health problems. Change preposition
of getting
For instance
, they can suffer from Linking Words
cholestrol
, Correct your spelling
cholesterol
diabets
, and even obesity. Not only that, but fast Correct your spelling
diabetes
food
Use synonyms
also
can make Linking Words
people
face nutritional deficiencies because they do not contain Use synonyms
an
adequate nutrition Remove the article
apply
to
Change preposition
for
human
to consume.
If Fix the agreement mistake
humans
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
implies
a higher Verb problem
imposes
tax
on fast Use synonyms
food
, the consumption Use synonyms
on
that kind of Change preposition
of
food
will reduce. Use synonyms
People
, especially Use synonyms
that
Correct determiner usage
those
Correct pronoun usage
who comes
comes
from middle to Correct subject-verb agreement
come
lower income
groups, are more sensitive to the Add a hyphen
lower-income
food
Use synonyms
price
that they pay. Fix the agreement mistake
prices
Therefore
, they will Linking Words
more
consider Correct quantifier usage
apply
to buy
fast Change the verb form
buying
food
and likely choose Use synonyms
another
cheaper Correct quantifier usage
other
food
options.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
due to
the serious problems that Linking Words
fast
Correct article usage
the fast
food
industry Use synonyms
make
, Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
Use synonyms
government
should fix the regulation of increasing the Add an article
the government
tax
. By the Use synonyms
tax
dramatic change, we Use synonyms
wish
it will influence Verb problem
hope
Use synonyms
people
purchase decisions, and support society to have Change noun form
people's
more
healthy lifestyle.Add an article
a more
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction sets up the topic and specifically addresses the issue of government taxing fast food without being too general. Your conclusion should also reflect on the arguments presented without introducing new information.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on creating a more logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. This could be achieved by using a wider range of linking words and clear topic sentences that highlight the main idea of each paragraph.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with clear, relevant examples. You mentioned health issues like cholesterol, diabetes, and obesity without elaborating their direct link to fast food. Provide specific instances or data to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Expand on your ideas by explaining the underlying reasons and consequences related to the topic. For example, discuss the broader social impact of fast food consumption beyond health, such as environmental concerns or economic issues related to dietary habits.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.