As water is valuable resource, governments all over the world should control how much water their citizens use. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, we are living in abundance thanks to highly developed technology.
While
some insist that as resources are abundant enough in modern society, there is no need to restrict using
water
, I believe that
governments
around the world should control the amount of
water
their citizens use. Without restrictions, it will have negative effects on
future
generations and developing countries. Admittedly, if
water
is unlimited,
governments
should not have to restrict it.
However
, usable
water
is an absolutely limited resource. In
this
respect, global organizations, where all
governments
gather together, need to address the issue for
future
generations. Specifically,
people
should preserve
water
, which is essential for living. Just as our ancestors conserved resources, we must
also
pass down
this
valuable asset to descendants as well. Without these efforts,
future
civilizations will not thrive.
Additionally
, to ensure that everyone benefits from the abundance of resources, it is crucial to limit
water
usage. These days, many undeveloped countries still suffer from
water
scarcity. When
people
waste
water
on leisure activities, some
people
from the other side struggle to obtain
water
for survival.
Therefore
, representatives of countries should restrict the use of
water
selectively. They should set priorities by limiting wasteful use of
water
.
For example
, a major in Korea deplored the waste of
water
, opposing
'
Correct article usage
the 'Water
show examples
Water
Bomb Festival' where
people
enjoy the
water
.
This
argument affected the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
of citizens,
finally
leading to the new policy set by the Korean government. In
this
context,
governments
should influence the local community positively. In conclusion, as
water
is limited and valuable,
governments
should do their best to save
water
for the next generations and for
people
who still have problems with drinking
water
. Without proper actions and regulations, we cannot expect a bright
future
. Human beings should not underestimate the responsibility of preserving
water
.
Submitted by jaeddori66 on

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task response
Your essay presents a clear stance on the issue and covers the main points effectively. However, stronger, more varied vocabulary could enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
coherence
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. There were a few spots where the transition could be more fluid. Cohesion can be slightly improved with better transitional phrases.
introduction
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your position, setting the stage effectively for the rest of the essay.
main points support
Each paragraph has a clear main idea, and you support your arguments with relevant examples, such as the 'Water Bomb Festival' example.
introduction conclusion
Both the introduction and conclusion are strong, framing the essay well and summarizing your stance effectively.
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