Some people think that the increase in international travel has a negative impact on the environment and should be restricted. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#people #travel #impact #environment

Some people

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

around the world would be destroyed the planet and should be prevented.I partly agree with

this

statement since there are few benefits of flying.I'll analyze both my agreement and disagreement explanations in

this

essay. İnternational travel is a well-discussed topic in

this

era as it has become the major factor in globalization.On the one

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

it seems to me that traveling internationally is economically beneficial for countries.As an example tourism

boost

Correct subject-verb agreement

boosts

show examples

Change preposition

apply

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a country's economy

as a result

of expenditures of tourists and

create

Correct subject-verb agreement

creates

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new job opportunities for local people.

Therefore

international travel plays an essential role

Change preposition

show examples

a nation's economy.

On the other hand

,aeroplanes

releases

Change the verb form

release

show examples

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of carbon dioxide emissions which

caused

Wrong verb form

cause

show examples

global warming. It refers to

gradual

Add an article

a gradual

the gradual

show examples

rise in the

earth

Change noun form

earth's

show examples

temperature and melting ice glaciers rapidly.

As a result

, the sea level is progressively increasing. So it will directly impact seaside countries.

To sum up

above

Correct article usage

the above

show examples

statement flying has

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

impact on the environment owing to

discharge

Add an article

the discharge

show examples

of harmful gases and chemicals in the year.

Nevertheless

, as there are some disadvantages of international

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

such

as the environmental impact like air pollution, the benefits of

cross cultural

Add a hyphen

cross-cultural

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experiences and economic growth should not be overlooked.In my

opinion

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opinion,

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it would be more productive to explore alternative solutions to protect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature rather than restrict

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

Submitted by P.Erandi on Tue Dec 26 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay shows some good organization, but transitions between ideas can be improved for smoother flow. Aim to use cohesive devices more effectively to link sentences and paragraphs together, and ensure the logical sequence of ideas. Introduction and conclusion are present, but could be more impactful with clearer thesis statements and summaries of your main points.

Task Achievement

You have addressed parts of the task well, with a clear position throughout the essay. However, to score higher, both sides of the argument should be explored more evenly, and conclusions should be drawn from the examples provided. Specific examples to support points are sparse; to improve, you should include more relevant, detailed examples to illustrate your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

221 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the increase in international travel has a negative impact on the environment and should be restricted. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that family members are more important than friends. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that advertising on tv is useful for viewers while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

You recently flew with an airline and had a problem with the food on the plane. Write a letter to the company. In your letter give the details of the flight explain what the problem with the food was say what the airline should do about it.

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.