Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. You should write at least 250 words.

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It could be agreed that progression in healthcare, education and trade are crucial for
betterment
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the betterment
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of poorer
countries
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.
Nevertheless
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, many
belief
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believe
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that resourceful
countries
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should extend a helping hand towards these poorer
countries
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. I absolutely agree with
this
Linking Words
idea and the reasons why will be discussed in
this
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essay. Any form of help from rich
countries
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will allow poorer
countires
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countries
to focus more on current-ongoing issues of the country. More often than not, poorer
countries
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usually have an urgent issue going on within the country
that is
Linking Words
burning up all the resources and
due to
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this
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, governments are not able to divert attention to other areas like healthcare and education.
For instance
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,
from
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in
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the movie I watched called "
Arlan
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", the
neighbour
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neighbouring
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kingdom Ergat helped
Arlan
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by loaning
a
Correct pronoun usage
them a
him a
her a
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handsome amount of money and with that
Arlan
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was able to put a stop to a
century old
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century-old
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civil war and
florished
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flourish
as a country shortly after.
Furthermore
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, there is a huge potential
of
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for
show examples
mutual interests for both poor and rich
countries
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by helping. Undoubtedly, after poor nations endured
through
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apply
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difficulties with external help, it usually comes with better
relationship
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relationships
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between nations which could result in
better
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a better
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economy for everyone.
Also
Linking Words
from the movie "
Arlan
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" I have mentioned, within a decade of opening
boarders
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borders
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, there have been massive improvements in foreign investments, increased job
oppurtunies
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opportunities
and
rising
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a rising
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economy for both
Arlan
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and Ergat. In conclusion, richer
countries
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should be extending their help to poor
countries
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because it is in helping parties' best interest to have a good relationship after poor
countires
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countries
improved
Wrong verb form
improve
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and create a win-win situation for both parties.
Submitted by yyyoungyoung12 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay maintains a clear position throughout and consistently addresses the task prompt. Your statement corresponds with your opinion; however, the argumentation sometimes lacks depth and task-specific expansion.
Task Achievement
Make sure your main points are well supported by real-world examples or solid evidence. Fictional movies do not constitute credible evidence in an IELTS essay. Instead, provide real-life examples or theoretically strong and relevant arguments to back up your claims.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has an adequate overall structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. To enhance your score further, ensure that the body paragraphs are well-developed and each idea is clearly introduced, explained, and concluded. Transition words are used effectively between ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic range and control over language. Vary the sentence openings and lengths to enhance readability and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global inequality
  • Economic interdependence
  • Global citizenry
  • Historical exploitation
  • Reparations
  • Systemic poverty
  • Aid effectiveness
  • Corruption
  • Bureaucracy
  • Sustainable development
  • Empowerment
  • Dependency
  • International collaboration
  • Knowledge transfer
  • Healthcare infrastructure
  • Educational reform
  • Trade relations
  • Security and stability
  • Conflict resolution
  • Extremism
  • Innovation
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