Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. You should write at least 250 words.

It could be agreed that progression in healthcare, education and trade are crucial for
betterment
Add an article
the betterment
show examples
of poorer
countries
.
Nevertheless
, many
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
that resourceful
countries
should extend a helping hand towards these poorer
countries
. I absolutely agree with
this
idea and the reasons why will be discussed in
this
essay. Any form of help from rich
countries
will allow poorer
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
to focus more on current-ongoing issues of the country. More often than not, poorer
countries
usually have an urgent issue going on within the country
that is
burning up all the resources and
due to
this
, governments are not able to divert attention to other areas like healthcare and education.
For instance
,
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
the movie I watched called "
Arlan
", the
neighbour
Replace the word
neighbouring
show examples
kingdom Ergat helped
Arlan
by loaning
a
Correct pronoun usage
them a
him a
her a
show examples
handsome amount of money and with that
Arlan
was able to put a stop to a
century old
Add a hyphen
century-old
show examples
civil war and
florished
Correct your spelling
flourish
as a country shortly after.
Furthermore
, there is a huge potential
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
mutual interests for both poor and rich
countries
by helping. Undoubtedly, after poor nations endured
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
difficulties with external help, it usually comes with better
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
between nations which could result in
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
economy for everyone.
Also
from the movie "
Arlan
" I have mentioned, within a decade of opening
boarders
Correct your spelling
borders
show examples
, there have been massive improvements in foreign investments, increased job
oppurtunies
Correct your spelling
opportunities
and
rising
Correct article usage
a rising
show examples
economy for both
Arlan
and Ergat. In conclusion, richer
countries
should be extending their help to poor
countries
because it is in helping parties' best interest to have a good relationship after poor
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
improved
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
and create a win-win situation for both parties.
Submitted by yyyoungyoung12 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay maintains a clear position throughout and consistently addresses the task prompt. Your statement corresponds with your opinion; however, the argumentation sometimes lacks depth and task-specific expansion.
Task Achievement
Make sure your main points are well supported by real-world examples or solid evidence. Fictional movies do not constitute credible evidence in an IELTS essay. Instead, provide real-life examples or theoretically strong and relevant arguments to back up your claims.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has an adequate overall structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. To enhance your score further, ensure that the body paragraphs are well-developed and each idea is clearly introduced, explained, and concluded. Transition words are used effectively between ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic range and control over language. Vary the sentence openings and lengths to enhance readability and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global inequality
  • Economic interdependence
  • Global citizenry
  • Historical exploitation
  • Reparations
  • Systemic poverty
  • Aid effectiveness
  • Corruption
  • Bureaucracy
  • Sustainable development
  • Empowerment
  • Dependency
  • International collaboration
  • Knowledge transfer
  • Healthcare infrastructure
  • Educational reform
  • Trade relations
  • Security and stability
  • Conflict resolution
  • Extremism
  • Innovation
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