IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live?

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With the advantages of technology,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 shifted to a
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 in which individual
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
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 for delicious
food
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 emerged not just to fulfill
the
Correct article usage
apply
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hunger. They want to enjoy a diverse range of foods with
a
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apply
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varying
taste
Fix the agreement mistake
tastes
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 and for that have invented many new and complex recipes. They want to do it easily and swiftly with the help of modern tools and technology. Has
this
Linking Words
 really improved our
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 or has done more
harms
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harm
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? Let us examine
this
Linking Words
 in the following essay.
People
Use synonyms
 want to enjoy a diverse type of
food
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 — prepare them at
home
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 or eat at expensive restaurants.
People
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 want to try new cuisines both at
home
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 and at restaurants and they want to be served promptly.
This
Linking Words
 is where
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern equipment takes part
in
Change preposition
apply
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, and
food
Use synonyms
 preparation nowadays is easier and faster and
this
Linking Words
 has definitely enhanced our
lifestyle
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 as it allows us to enjoy
food
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, not just satisfy our tummy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, modern tools like the rice cooker, microwave oven, slicer, mixer, electric heater and so on make the cooking process quick and convenient.
This
Linking Words
 saves a great deal of time
unlike
Add the comma(s)
, unlike
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 the past when someone had to be busy all day to prepare meals for the family.
People
Use synonyms
 now have more time for recreation, hobbies and for the family. For students, busy corporate, businessmen and researchers,
this
Linking Words
 improvement remarkably enhances their
lifestyle
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. On the downside, the advancements in
food
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 preparation methods have led to the growth of fast
food
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 industries and their restaurants
pop-up
Correct your spelling
pop up
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 everywhere, like mushrooms after the rain.
This
Linking Words
 might seem convenient for those who do not have time to prepare
food
Use synonyms
 at
home
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, but the health hazards are even greater. The obesity rate is skyrocketing in
western
Capitalize word
Western
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 countries and more
people
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, these days, are suffering from health-related issues. In conclusion, the latest technology has undeniably improved the quality of
individual’s
Change noun form
individual
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 living
standard
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standards
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 but not without a cost. To make the best of
this
Linking Words
 development we have to avoid junk
food
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 but prepare more nutritious
food
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure of your essay, consider organizing your points more clearly. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the paragraphs follow one another in a logical sequence that builds up your argument.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, work on making sure they not only bookend your essay but also reflect a strong, clear thesis that is thoroughly examined through the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but to further strengthen your essay, continually link back to the central thesis, showing how each point directly supports your overall argument.
task achievement
Ensure that your response is complete by fully addressing all parts of the task. It could be improved by expanding on how food preparation technology impacts daily life beyond the scope of health and time savings.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive most times, but avoid generalizations and strive to continue developing ideas in a way that shows a deeper consideration of the topic.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to solidify your argument. These can serve as evidence for the points you make and will help the reader see the practical implications of your ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Modern appliances
  • Pre-packaged meals
  • Cooking time
  • Nutritional value
  • Public health
  • Work-life balance
  • Cultural heritage
  • Food industry
  • Processed foods
  • Packaging waste
  • Social bonding
  • Culinary skills
  • International cuisine
  • Preservatives
  • Additives
  • Contamination
What to do next:
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