Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people argue that using mobile
phones
should be allowed during study time for children .However
, this
essay strongly stands with the people who believe that working with these devices in school
should be banned.
It is understandable that using the phone in the class
can bring more detail about the lessons.In fact, while
the teacher is explaining a subject in the
Correct article usage
apply
class
, students
can browse the internet and find more details about the topic and understand the teacher's point better. For instance
, when the topic of studying is about human body parts, it is hard to imagine all parts of the human body following the teacher's word
.Fix the agreement mistake
words
However
, smart smartphones have the ability to search on the internet and display the human body during the study and they may help to learn better.Although
the device can help in this
way,teachers can bring a projector with them in class
and show images to students
instead
of using mobile phones
.
On the opposite side, students
can be more focused on their studies, if using phones
is banned in school
.In fact, children and youngsters prefer to work with applications and play games on their phones
instead
of listening to their courses. So this
device can distract them and they may not learn the subject of the class
.For example
, there was an
experiment literature in an Indian Remove the article
apply
school
which illustrated that a class
without using a phone had a better average mark compared to the other class
using this
device.
In conclusion, Although
using phones
by students
can help them learn their lessons,it has lots of drawbacks such
as distraction during the school
day.So the best choice in my point of view is to make a rule and ban phones
.Submitted by mohammad.bameri.1380 on
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task achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. The essay should present a balanced discussion of both views and your own opinion, making sure that each is developed with specific examples and clear reasoning. Expand more on how each point directly relates to the topic, and ensure your opinion is clearly articulated and supported throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a rudimentary structure with both an introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, work on creating a more logical flow of ideas. This can include better paragraphing with clear topic sentences and smoother transitions between ideas. Your essay could be more cohesive by linking ideas and paragraphs more coherently, using a range of conjunctions and lexical phrases.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?