Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The advertising has sparked a burning question on whether it is successfully making
products
outstanding for greater consumption or holding back customers' intention to buy stuff as per its huge distribution. From my point of view, the latter is the reality of the world we are in now as the tendency
of purchasing
Change preposition
to purchase
show examples
products
because they have been brought to
people
's attention by
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
seems to be descending. Coming down to the fact that
people
's attention can be drawn to a specific
numbers
Correct the article-noun agreement
number
show examples
of
products
through advertising, it is doubtlessly that the more we see something the more we remember it.
Hence
,
this
phenomenon has been a thesis deeply
founding
Wrong verb form
founded
show examples
in
advertising
Correct article usage
the advertising
show examples
sector to encourage
people
to buy things being promoted. For that reason/ the repetition makes it familiar to us -
For instance
, a survey done by purchasers in a supermarket
statistics
Correct your spelling
states
show examples
that the more attractive
advertisement
Correct article usage
the advertisement
show examples
is the more they remember the
products
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
enhances the chance of them heading to checkout with those
products
among hundreds of ones in the same category by 60%.
However
, to the others' and
also
my belief, it is gradually not the case these days, because too much advertising is overwhelming consumers, especially ones being resistant to change what
already
Add a missing verb
is already
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their purchase list for a long time.
Products
in the market
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a tendency to be replaced throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time by newer and newer, which are not something special to anyone.
Therefore
, the
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
used to grab consumers' attention
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
too familiar for them to keep switching to the latest unless the currently used are no longer produced. To prove
this
, the marketing sector's
illperformance
Correct your spelling
performance
report can be referred to
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that advertisement
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
failed by 35% in the period between 2015 and 2020 to push consumers towards buying the constantly promoted
products
. In summary, advertising has been seen as one of many ways to get
people
to buy
products
since
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
long before; yet the trend is getting less and less effective as
people
seem to be more ignorant
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
them, which is how I
also
view
as
Correct pronoun usage
them as
show examples
a consumer.
Submitted by camcat.viking on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that both sides of the argument are explored equally and that your own opinion is clear and well-supported with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more logical progression of ideas throughout your essay. Ideas should follow logically from one paragraph to the next, with clear topic sentences introducing the main idea of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion should be clearly distinguishable and effectively bookend your essay. Make sure they are more substantial in summarising the main points and your thesis respectively.
task achievement
Support your main points with more reliable and detailed examples. Avoid hypotheticals and use real-world evidence where possible.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!