The pie charts show rage devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two years

The pie charts show rage devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two years
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two pie charts illustrate the proportion of six different types of devices (mobile phone, conventional
TV
Use synonyms
, tablet, laptop, flat-screen
TV
Use synonyms
and desktop computer) utilised by young adults in Canada in 2009 and 2019. The results are given in
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the first
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
the most popular apparatus used by Canadians was conventional
TV
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, it was replaced by flat-screen
TV
Use synonyms
in the ten-year period.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, tablets were
initially
Linking Words
the least common tool but were ultimately substituted with conventional
Use synonyms
TV
Fix the agreement mistake
TVs
show examples
. The usage rates in all kinds of devices changed marginally in over ten years. In 2009, it was reported that most young people preferred conventional
TV
Use synonyms
with
an
Change the article
a
show examples
usage rate of 34%, but
this
Linking Words
figure witnessed a substantial decrease of one-third to 4% in the second year.
This
Linking Words
led to flat-screens replacement as the leading tool boasting a rise of about one-fifth to 27% 10 years later. In terms of the remaining apparatus, the percentage of Canadians reporting to use tablets and mobile phones climbed from 5% and 15% respectively in 2009 to approximately
Correct pronoun usage
one one-in-ten
show examples
one-in-ten
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
each in 2019. The proportion of those who reported using desktop computers and laptops fell by around 7% to 12% each.
Submitted by kellyanne.henney on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: