The use of social media is replacing face - to - face interaction among many people in society. Do you theadvantages outwetgh the disadvantages?
In
this
modern era, the use of social of social
Remove the redundancy
apply
media
is getting prominent among the masses swiflty
, Correct your spelling
swiftly
face
to face
interaction experienced decline
Correct article usage
a decline
overtime
, for individuals from different sects prefer Correct your spelling
over time
media
. In this
essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the aforementioned statement, and at the end
, I will ultimately express my own opinion.
To begin
with, the primary benefits of social media
used by citizens include flexibility and preservation of fuel. Thesedays
, people are indulged in Correct your spelling
These days
variety
of online businesses across the globe, the communication with international clients is now more convenient as compared to the past. From the comfort of home, one can Add an article
a variety
get
the world on fire by Correct your spelling
set
positing
or creating Correct your spelling
posting
an
Correct article usage
apply
affective
content on social sites. Correct your spelling
effective
Furthermore
, a half century
ago, people Add a hyphen
half-century
cover
Wrong verb form
covered
a large distances
to meet someone associated with their field of trade, Correct the article-noun agreement
large distances
a large distance
now a days
with online applications sharing their school of Correct the word
nowadays
thoughts
and Fix the agreement mistake
thought
save
Wrong verb form
saving
the
fuel. For illustration, Correct article usage
apply
according to
the
Dawn News, Correct article usage
apply
majority
of the population now Correct article usage
the majority
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
Add an article
the internet
internet
to get their chores done. Capitalize word
Internet
Consequently
, social media
has replaced face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
face
communication and gained popularity around the planet and very beneficial for people related to distinct fields.
On the other hand
, the over use
of social Correct your spelling
overuse
media
has caused several challenges that are health issues and less interaction. Individuals are getting lazy and dull, for they prefer to do shopping through these sites, their will power
is on the brink of collapse, Correct your spelling
willpower
they
even do not want to get up for exercise, which results in various health problems. Correct word choice
and they
Moreover
, online meetings are not effective as compared to face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
face
meetings, to be more precise, one may not be able to judge the person thoroughly. For instance
, according to
Express Tribune, a large proportion of citizens of India are indulged in detrimental health challenges, for they ignore physical fitness and busy
Add a missing verb
are busy
in
using social Change preposition
apply
media
extensively. As a result
, if not taken seriously, it will bring dangerous diseased
to the Replace the word
diseases
soiety
.
Correct your spelling
society
To sum up
, I opine that the benefits of online sessions can replace its drawbacks, for it has transformed the planet into modern
technological era. Without wasting Correct article usage
a modern
anytime
and resources, one can communicate with Replace the word
any time
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
in
the other end of the world. The world has become Change preposition
on
global
village because of Add an article
a global
the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
.Submitted by umark5353 on
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coherence cohesion
While the essay presented a structured response to the question, there were several instances of repetition and grammatical inaccuracies which interrupted the flow of the writing, particularly the phrase 'social of social media'. The logical progression of ideas could be improved with better sentence structure and variation in linking words and phrases.
task achievement
The candidate addressed both sides of the argument, including advantages and disadvantages, and provided a concluding opinion, which aligns with the task requirements. However, the essay could be enhanced by providing specific examples to support the main points. The use of generic examples and the lack of detailed illustration weaken the argument's effectiveness.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example