Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Allowing Children to make their own choices or not is a
smoulding
issue of today's social life and is extremely arguable Correct your spelling
smouldering
moulding
due to
its unquestionable insignificance .
One group of people
asserts that it should be allowed while
other
disbelieve Fix the agreement mistake
others
in
that. In Change preposition
apply
this
Essay, I will favored
the children in making their Wrong verb form
favour
choice
. I will Explain
Fix capitalization
explain
this
with my examples.
Firstly
, One group of people
believe that,
Remove the comma
apply
the
young Correct article usage
apply
people
should be given freedom
to make their Add an article
the freedom
Correct word choice
own choice
choice
on Fix the agreement mistake
choices
daily
basis matters. No Correct article usage
a daily
matters
Fix the agreement mistake
matter
whatever
they do in their routine it can be related to food ,clothes or maybe entertainment. Correct pronoun usage
what
This
activity makes human beings able to think and analyze the
Correct article usage
apply
things
in different ways. In my opinion, This
should be helpful for everyone to do shopping with their own choice
so that they can learn about many things
like pocket management and time management.
Moreover
, it can also
help individuals to
improve Verb problem
apply
Correct pronoun usage
their
a
ability of Change the word
their
decision
making. These Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
type
of different activities can make humankind more capable and responsible in their lives.Fix the agreement mistake
types
In addition
, as far as I am concerned ,it is also
a good deed that everyone should be given equal rights to choose different things
for themselves which they like much.
In contrarily, some group
of individuals have faith that the freedom of Fix the agreement mistake
groups
choices
makes Fix the agreement mistake
choice
someone
selfish who
only think about their own wishes. Because, whenever the freshers are given permission to do shopping of their Correct word choice
and
choice
they do not care about the money .How do the parents Earn it? and how hard is to make money?
They do not think these Change the punctuation
.
things
are good for them or not. For the
instance,a decisionCorrect article usage
apply
of
junk food on Change preposition
to
daily
basis is not good for Correct article usage
a daily
someone
to have. It will cause someone
to have stomach problems or some other kind of problems like Fat.
In Conclusion, as far as I am concerned, the decisions making affect someone
in many ways and young
generation should be allowed to make their own wishes.
It does not causeCorrect article usage
the young
in
a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. In my opinion, Change preposition
apply
Its
Correct your spelling
It's
parents
responsibility to teach their Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
child
to take care of others Fix the agreement mistake
children
people
who lives around there
. And how to help others in difficult conditions.Correct your spelling
them
Submitted by usmansarfraz700 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay has attempted to address the task, but there are several issues with coherence and cohesion that need to be addressed. The logical structure could be improved by better organizing the ideas and paragraphs. Ensure the introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively bookend the main content of the essay. To support the main points, include more detailed examples and explanations. It is also essential to work on connecting ideas and paragraphs seamlessly to guide the reader through the argument.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, the essay partially covers the required elements but lacks depth. While there is an attempt to discuss both views as well as provide a personal opinion, the essay would benefit from a more thorough analysis of each perspective. It is also necessary to develop ideas more comprehensively and provide relevant examples to back up claims. This would result in a more complete and convincing response to the essay question.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.