Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyles in the countryside. other believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. discuss both view and give your opinion.
It is discussed by a part of society
that
is
living in the countryside provides a healthy Unnecessary verb
apply
lifestyles
another group of Correct the article-noun agreement
lifestyle
people
oppose and consider that,
living in the city is better for a healthy Remove the comma
apply
life
. I will discuss both sides in this
below.
To begin
with a group of people
who say that for healthy
Add an article
a healthy
life
it is better to live in the rurals
. The big city Correct your spelling
rural
life
has a lof
of stress factors. In big Correct your spelling
lot
cities
most Add a comma
cities,
of
Change preposition
apply
people
must work to remain in their life
. Although
the
business Correct article usage
apply
life
is stressful enough, people
's stress continue
after work hours too. Change the verb form
continues
For example
;There are a
traffic congestion problems and Correct article usage
apply
chaos
environment in big Replace the word
a chaotic
city
. The Sunday Times recently reported that % 33 of employees in the UK , spent more than 2 hours in the traffic after their shifts.
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
Besides
, sports activities are the
one of the most important activities for Change the article
apply
have
a healthy Wrong verb form
having
life
. There are exercises
options in exurban areas. Running and Change the noun form
exercise
cycle
are one of them. Physical Wrong verb form
cycling
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
are providing
not only Wrong verb form
provide
a
body Correct article usage
apply
strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
and
Correct word choice
but
also
brain relief. Hence
, people
can sustain their lives healthier.
On the other hand
, there are
a Change the verb form
is
lof
of advantages to Correct your spelling
lot
live
in Change the verb form
living
the
big Correct article usage
apply
cities
. Health services are more advanced and there are more options which service to
Change preposition
apply
people
. And
Correct word choice
Also
also
most better doctors prefer to live in big cities
because of
famous hospitals are located Change preposition
apply
to
big Change preposition
in
cities
too. Therefore
, in the health diseases for example
; diabetes or obesity etc.. it will be easier to get better health services. And also
, in the
urban Correct article usage
apply
areas
there are many types of shopping Add a comma
areas,
centers
which sell Change the spelling
centres
to
healthy and fresh food.
In conclusion, each particular idea has its own benefits and drawbacks. My opinion is, Change preposition
apply
big
Correct word choice
that big
cities
have more options for each criterias
to sustain a healthier Correct your spelling
criterion
life
. Furthermore
, easier to access every factors
that Change to a singular noun
factor
ensure
well-being.Correct subject-verb agreement
ensures
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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your essay includes a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction should provide a clear overview of the topics to be discussed, and your conclusion should effectively summarize your discussion and personal stance.
Logical Structure
Work to create a logical flow within your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main point and should follow the previous paragraph in a logical manner, allowing for a coherent argument throughout.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with specific examples or explanations. While you have provided some examples, there's room for improvement in offering more detailed and relevant illustrations of your points.
Complete Response
Fully address all parts of the task. Make sure that you discuss both views mentioned in the prompt thoroughly and give your opinion. While you have given your opinion, it would help if you elaborated on it further by delving into why you hold that view.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and developing them more comprehensively. Aim for clarity in presenting your argument and make sure each paragraph adds to the overall discussion in a meaningful way.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Use relevant examples or data to support your points. for instance, referencing studies or statistics would strengthen your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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