IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

•Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#•countries #time #countries
•In Today’s world, every
nation
 is running in a race to prove
them selves
Correct your spelling
themselves
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 that they are far better than the other countries. Some
believes
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believe
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 that working extra
hours
 gives
boost
Add an article
a boost
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 to the growth of a
nation
.
However
, I
am not completely agree
Change the verb form
do not completely agree
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 with the given statement and will discuss the reasons in the following essay. First and foremost, reason is that working excessive
hours
 will lead to a bad
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
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 balance which causes various health issues among
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals
such
 as stress, anxiety and so on.
In addition
, if
administration
Correct article usage
the administration
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 supports
this
 kind of
policies
Fix the agreement mistake
policy
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 it will
gives
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
 a chance to the employers to exploit their employees. For illustrate,
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
recent work surveys
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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held in 2020 found that a big proportion of
working
Correct article usage
the working
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 class
get
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gets
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 exploited in a way of requesting or giving them excess
work load
Correct your spelling
workload
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.
On the
Contrary
Fix capitalization
contrary
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, in some cases working long
hours
 played a vital role in the
nation
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nation's
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 growth within a short period of time.
To
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For
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 instance, after the chines government
announce to deploy
Wrong verb form
announced deploying
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 their population in
industrial
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the industrial
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 sector and
runs
Wrong verb form
running
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 production plants for long
hours
, China becomes the
world
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world's
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 largest exporter in the world
due to
this
 step.
However
,
this
 step only helps in
such
 a short period as
this
resulted
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results
show examples
 decrease
the
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in the
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 morale of employees and results in
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
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the
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in the
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 Quality of
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
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 output.
To Sum up
, there is no doubt that working excessive
hours
 skyrocket
Correct article usage
the economy
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economy
Replace the word
economic
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 growth of a
nation
 in a short time but it
have
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has
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their
Change the word
a
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 heavily negative impact
of
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on
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 their people
such
 as stress full life, unbalanced work-life balance and
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
 in
overall
 quality
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 output.
Submitted by ranayogesh5050 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that you address the topic directly and with a clear stance. The introduction should clearly state your thesis and the conclusion should summarize your main points effectively. You partly addressed the task, but the arguments need to be more focused and your standpoint should be consistent.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay's logical structure requires improvement. Main ideas should be clearly presented and followed by supporting sentences. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas and ensure they flow naturally from one to the next. Transitions should be used to link ideas within and between paragraphs to enhance clarity.
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