Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of school day. Other believe that students should spend the whole day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific reason and details to support your answer.

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There is a debate over what should be
part
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of a
school
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day
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.
One
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side believes that it is mandatory for physical
activities
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to be included in daily
activities
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at
school
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,
while
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others say that academic studies should be the main uninterrupted focus of the
day
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.
This
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essay agrees that
exercise
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should be a
part
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of
school
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,
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apply
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because
exercise
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plays a big
part
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in maintaining your health and it is
also
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ineffective to
study
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without breaks.
Firstly
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, physical
activities
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are
one
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of the main contributing factors to people's health. Being healthy is
one
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of the best ways you can support yourself to
study
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because you can fully concentrate on your studies. Exercises
such
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as playing sports, yoga, pilates, or even something as simple as walking
that is
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done frequently keep your body in good shape. It is proven that doing physical activity
one
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to two times a week can improve concentration. As a bonus,
this
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would
also
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lessen the chances of children getting sick, which would ensure that they can keep studying. A recent
study
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has shown that people
that
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who
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do not have physical
activities
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as
part
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of their routine perform worse in exams than people who regularly
exercise
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.
Secondly
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, studying academic materials for a prolonged period of
time
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would be ineffective. There's a limit to the period of
time
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humans can concentrate in
one
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sitting. There is an ideal studying
time
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limit which ranges around 20-25 minutes with a 5-minute break, and a longer break after 2 hours. Children would not be able to process all the
information
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if they were given too many materials at once. Taking in
information
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is not the only
part
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of studying, it is necessary to give
time
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to process the
information
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- to let the
information
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sink in, and to assess what you do not understand which would affect what you
study
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next. To try and cram a lot of materials at once
in the long run
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, in the long run,
show examples
would be more ineffective than taking necessary breaks. A recent
study
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has shown that there is a limit to the amount of
information
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someone can learn in
one
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day
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. Why not fill those breaks with
exercise
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, which is proven to
also
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improve your
study
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quality? In conclusion, I strongly agree that including physical
activities
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in
school
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routines is necessary. It is proven to be beneficial for children because staying healthy would support you to keep studying well, and it is ineffective to only focus on studying in a
day
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.

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Task Response
Ensure your essay maintains a clear position throughout. While your essay does demonstrate agreement with the inclusion of physical activities in the school day, be careful to consistently maintain your point of view in every paragraph without deviating.
Task Achievement
Work on integrating more specific examples and data to support your arguments. Incorporate studies, statistics, or real-life examples that clearly align with your thesis.
Coherence and Cohesion
The organization of your essay is satisfactory, but there is room to further enhance the logical flow between ideas. Transition between points more smoothly using varied linking phrases and topic sentences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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