Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In
this
modern world, digital devices have been involved in all aspects of humanity.Even classrooms are among the places where these items are in use. the debate that mobile
phones
should not be used by offspring and youngsters is an argument that both agree and disagree
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
so many.The two sides of
this
argument will be thoroughly analysed and discussed in
this
essay before drawing a reasoned conclusion.
Firstly
, using the phone in the
class
can bring more detail about the lessons.In fact,
while
the teacher is explaining a subject in
class
, students can browse the internet and find more details about the topic and understand the teacher's point better.
For instance
, when the topic of studying is about human body parts, it is hard to imagine all parts of the human body following the teacher's words.
However
, smart smartphones have the ability to search on the internet and display the human body during the study and they may help to learn better.
This
is why it can be argued that digital devices
such
as
phones
should be available to use in schools. On the other point of view, students can be more focused on their studies, if using
phones
is banned in school.In fact, offspring and youngsters prefer to work with applications and play games on their
phones
instead
of listening to their courses. So
this
device can distract them and they may not learn the subject of the
class
.
For example
, there was experiment literature in an Indian school which illustrated that a
class
without using a phone had a better average mark compared to the other
class
using
this
device.Sadly,
this
is an issue that
phones
can make for offspring in their classes.
Therefore
,
this
makes it clear that digital devices have to be banned in institutions. To summarise, the two sides of the debate concern the benefits and drawbacks of
phones
in schools with strong support.
However
, after a thorough analysis of both sides,in my opinion,
it is clear that
children must be limited in working with
phones
during the school day. It is
therefore
recommended that schools make new rules for applying these limits to the students.
Submitted by mohammad.bameri.1380 on

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coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present and well-formulated, your main ideas could benefit from clearer transitions and better-structured paragraphs to enhance the flow and overall cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and provided a clear opinion, but the response would benefit from more specific examples and a detailed development of ideas to fully satisfy the task requirements.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Concentration
  • Emergency communication
  • Digital literacy
  • Educational resources
  • Social development
  • Self-regulation
  • Enforcement
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Technology access
  • Learning apps
  • Screen time
  • Peer interaction
  • School policy
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