Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

this

present era, the quality of life of individuals has changed drastically, providing them with a plethora of options. These choices include an increase in job opportunities and freedom in deciding family life. I strongly agree that people have more alternatives compared to the previous generation by pointing out the variations in the job market and a more progressive view of the significant others.

Firstly

, in comparison to the 1990s the enhancement in technology and science, opened a wide range of career options thereby reducing poverty and the unemployment rate. Until the early

Correct your spelling

2000s

2000

Add a comma

2000,

show examples

the main occupation was farming, farmers faced a lot of difficulty during that time

due to

a lack of knowledge in marketing and weather conditions that destroyed the crops and thereby yearned for less money.

Whereas

, these days there are many vacancies in the IT sector and even robotics provide high salaries and assurance in jobs.

Secondly

due to

more youngsters prioritizing

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

, it has led to family planning and having kids in their 30s or 40s but advancement in science has made it possible to do

this

by providing various options like freezing eggs, surrogacy and treatments for infertility.

This

has provided

this

generation with

choice

Correct article usage

a choice

show examples

for focusing on their personal development rather than focusing on their personal development rather than focusing on kids.

To conclude

, in

this

essay I have clearly mentioned how we have more freedom of choice in comparison with the older generation which can elevate the living quality and be more stress-free.

Submitted by dhanyatomy2001 on Tue Sep 03 2024

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task achievement

To improve your task achievement, consider providing more detailed and varied examples. For instance, when discussing job opportunities, you could mention specific fields or professions that have emerged over the years. Additionally, more clearly explain how the choice of having kids later in life is interconnected with career prioritization.

coherence cohesion

For better coherence and cohesion, try to ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. Your ideas are well-structured, but the flow between paragraphs can be enhanced. Also, avoid the repetition seen in the last sentence of the second body paragraph.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in summarizing the key points effectively.

task achievement

Main points are supported by relevant examples, which help in illustrating your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

overwhelmed
decision fatigue
paralysis by analysis
consumerism
globalization
personal autonomy
market saturation
option overload
decision-making process
psychological well-being
buyer's remorse
customization
trade-offs
minimalism
information superhighway

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Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be shut down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.

Government investment in the arts,such as music and theatre is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public service instead. Do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays in many countries young people leave rural areas to study or work in cities. What are the reasons for this? Do the benefits of this outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that we learn best through in-person interaction with a teacher in a classroom. Others believe that online learning is more effective. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.