Some people say that now we can see the films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
individuals Correct article usage
apply
believes
that Change the verb form
believe
movies
can be watched over mobiles instead
of visiting cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
whereas
, other
think that to enjoy the cinematic Fix the agreement mistake
others
experience
, movies
should be seen in the theaters
. I will discuss both viewpoints and state my opinion.
Change the spelling
theatres
To begin
with, technology and internet
these days are developing at Correct article usage
the internet
very
fast pace. It is very convenient nowadays to explore Add an article
a very
for
Change preposition
apply
the
new series or Correct article usage
apply
movies
on the internet. Watching films on the internet is economically reasonable and has no time boundaries to start or end. Tickets for the cinemas are very high and sometimes it is very hard for some people
to afford the price. Moreover
, in many cases, the show timings do collapse with the schedule of the many people
. For instance
, people
having busy schedule
can take Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
the
advantage and Correct article usage
apply
can
enjoy the Verb problem
apply
new
released Change the adjective
newly
movie
at home or on their tablets.
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
On the other hand
, cinematic
Correct article usage
the cinematic
experience
of any movie has a different impact over
the audience. In theaters, the audience is more supposed to enjoy and feel refreshed as compared to watching over home Change preposition
on
at
phone or television owe to Correct your spelling
a
big
screen and special sound system installed leading to Correct article usage
a big
enhance
audio and visual Wrong verb form
enhanced
experience
. A survey by cineplex cinema
was conducted stating that Correct your spelling
Cineplex Cinema
people
are more likely to relax and remember the stories of the movies
if they watched them in the cinema.
To conclude
, watching the
films Correct article usage
apply
over
Change preposition
on
the
mobile is much more convenient and affordable but, to enjoy the cinematic Correct article usage
a
experience
of the movie, visiting the theater
is Change the spelling
theatre
must
.Correct article usage
a must
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task achievement
Given the essay topic, the task response is satisfactory, yet there is certainly room for improvement. The test taker presents a general discussion of both views, but there is a lack of depth in exploring the nuances of the argument. The essay addresses the question and provides a personal opinion, which is an essential component. To improve, it would be beneficial to delve deeper into the rationale behind each viewpoint and provide more developed reasoning or examples to support the statements made. This will enrich the essay's content and showcase the ability to engage critically with the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay does display a basic organizational structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing each view, and a conclusion. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the logical sequence of information can be refined. The essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences and better utilization of cohesive devices to help the reader follow the argument more easily. For instance, using phrases such as 'Firstly,' 'On the contrary,' and 'In conclusion' can signal the structure of the argument to the examiner more clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.