IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #police #budget #area #britain #money #show #features #comparisons
The bar charts illustrate
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
money
 spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 various objectives related to the needs and empowerments of
police
 officers,
such
 as their salaries, technology, and buildings and transport with respect to two different years, 2017 and 2018.
On the other hand
, the table reports the source of
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
along with
 its nominal
dedicated
Replace the word
dedication
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
police
 over 2
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
 period in terms of
million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
show examples
euros
Change preposition
of euros
show examples
.
Overall
, there was a
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
police
 salaries in 2018 compared with what happened one year before.
However
, the available budget for
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 and creation of technology used by
police
 officers
was risen
Change to the active voice
rose
has risen
show examples
 quite significantly.
This
 was supported
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the
rose
Replace the word
rise
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 total
money
 given by three kinds of sources, like National Government, Local Taxes, and other sources as seen from the table.
In addition
 to that, the proportion of total
money
 spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 buildings and transport was stagnant. For more detailed information, the
police
 budget in 2017 was 304.7
m
Correct your spelling
million
 euros which was much less than
provided
Correct article usage
the provided
show examples
money
 for the same officers in 2018
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was 318.6 million euros. Another
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
notable
 feature from the bar charts is that the
dropped
Replace the word
drop
show examples
 in salaries for those people was very clear where in 2017 the percentage of it accounted
75
Change preposition
for 75
show examples
%,
while
 in 2018 69%.
Submitted by ravialdyhidayat on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, police with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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