Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

#lack #water #importance #shortage #measures

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Nowadays, the increasing

number

in the world population makes the consumption of

water

significantly higher.

Therefore

, it caused a

little

Correct word choice

small

show examples

number

of fresh

water

available in the world and

resulted

Add the preposition

resulted in

resulted from

show examples

a global

issue

However

, there is a thing that may become the main problem of

this

Moreover

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

action regarding

this

issue

should be taken as soon as possible to reduce the difficulty

to find

Change preposition

of finding

show examples

fresh

water

To begin

, the problems may come because of several factors.

First,

the demand for

fresh

Correct your spelling

freshwater

show examples

water

grows in line with the increasing

number of

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

population. These people need

water

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their needs to live.

Second,

the rise of buildings, houses, and malls which are taking up a lot of space underground make the spot for

fresh

Correct your spelling

freshwater

show examples

water

decrease.

Last

, the

waste

from the factory directly goes to the sea or river.

This

is fatal and

maybe

Correct your spelling

may

show examples

becomes

Wrong verb form

become

show examples

the

most

Correct word choice

highest

show examples

percentage contributing to the shortage of freshwater.

However

, it is still possible to solve

this

issue

. One organization which

focus

Correct subject-verb agreement

focuses

show examples

on the

water

issue

, ESRI, published an article to treat a

little

Correct word choice

small

show examples

number

of fresh

water

. The initial action is the government must make a policy for the factory owners to process the

waste

Furthermore

, the government should support business owners who want to make

water

treatment

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

. The

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

can be provided

such

low interest

Add a hyphen

low-interest

show examples

loans, no taxes, and easy permits.

To conclude

, the lack of

fresh

Correct your spelling

freshwater

show examples

water

developing into a global

issue

this

moment and may

continues

Wrong verb form

continue

show examples

in the future. The reasons for

this

problem are the increasing demand, the increasing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

construction, and the

waste

that is

not being treated by the factory.

Nevertheless

, the shortage of fresh

water

could be controlled

with

Change preposition

show examples

making a policy of

waste

and giving the easy way for business owners who

interested

Add a missing verb

are interested

show examples

in starting

water

treatment

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

Submitted by rezaf.permadi on Wed Dec 27 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure you have a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Your paragraphs should have clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that expand on the idea.

coherence cohesion

Include an introduction and a conclusion that effectively introduce and summarise your main points. While these elements are present in your essay, they require further development to clearly outline your argument and summarise your main points.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. Your essay provides general ideas but lacks detailed examples to illustrate the issues and measures related to the fresh water shortage.

task achievement

Ensure that you address all parts of the task. While you have provided some response to the prompts, your essay could be more complete by directly answering the provided questions.

task achievement

Express clear and comprehensive ideas. Aim to provide explanations and examples that clarify your main points and arguments on fresh water issues.

task achievement

Include relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your arguments more persuasive and demonstrate an ability to use concrete evidence in your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

water scarcity
irrigation
contaminated
waterborne diseases
ecosystems
biodiversity
pandemics
economic downturn
social unrest
food security
resource management
conservation efforts
sustainable
desalination
rainwater harvesting

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Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT INDIVIDUALS TODAY ARE MORE DEPENDENT ON EACH OTHER. OTHERS BELIEVE PEOPLE HAVE BEOME MORE INDEPENDENT. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOURS OWN OPINION.

In some cultures, children are encouraged to compete against each other. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this approach?

In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?

The best way to make the road transport of goods safer is to ask drivers to take a driving test each year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.