Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

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Nowadays, the increasing

number

Use synonyms

in the world population makes the consumption of

water

Use synonyms

significantly higher.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it caused a

little

Correct word choice

small

show examples

number

Use synonyms

of fresh

water

Use synonyms

available in the world and

resulted

Add the preposition

resulted in

resulted from

show examples

a global

issue

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, there is a thing that may become the main problem of

this

Linking Words

Moreover

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

action regarding

this

Linking Words

issue

Use synonyms

should be taken as soon as possible to reduce the difficulty

to find

Change preposition

of finding

show examples

fresh

water

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

, the problems may come because of several factors.

First,

Linking Words

the demand for

fresh

Correct your spelling

freshwater

show examples

water

Use synonyms

grows in line with the increasing

Use synonyms

number of

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

population. These people need

water

Use synonyms

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their needs to live.

Second,

Linking Words

the rise of buildings, houses, and malls which are taking up a lot of space underground make the spot for

fresh

Correct your spelling

freshwater

show examples

water

Use synonyms

decrease.

Last

Linking Words

, the

waste

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from the factory directly goes to the sea or river.

This

Linking Words

is fatal and

maybe

Correct your spelling

may

show examples

becomes

Wrong verb form

become

show examples

the

most

Correct word choice

highest

show examples

percentage contributing to the shortage of freshwater.

However

Linking Words

, it is still possible to solve

this

Linking Words

issue

Use synonyms

. One organization which

focus

Correct subject-verb agreement

focuses

show examples

on the

water

Use synonyms

issue

Use synonyms

, ESRI, published an article to treat a

little

Correct word choice

small

show examples

number

Use synonyms

of fresh

water

Use synonyms

. The initial action is the government must make a policy for the factory owners to process the

waste

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the government should support business owners who want to make

water

Use synonyms

treatment

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

. The

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

can be provided

such

Linking Words

low interest

Add a hyphen

low-interest

show examples

loans, no taxes, and easy permits.

To conclude

Linking Words

, the lack of

fresh

Correct your spelling

freshwater

show examples

water

Use synonyms

developing into a global

issue

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

moment and may

continues

Wrong verb form

continue

show examples

in the future. The reasons for

this

Linking Words

problem are the increasing demand, the increasing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

construction, and the

waste

Use synonyms

that is

Linking Words

not being treated by the factory.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, the shortage of fresh

water

Use synonyms

could be controlled

with

Change preposition

show examples

making a policy of

waste

Use synonyms

and giving the easy way for business owners who

interested

Add a missing verb

are interested

show examples

in starting

water

Use synonyms

treatment

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

rezaf.permadiWed Dec 27 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure you have a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Your paragraphs should have clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that expand on the idea.

coherence cohesion

Include an introduction and a conclusion that effectively introduce and summarise your main points. While these elements are present in your essay, they require further development to clearly outline your argument and summarise your main points.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. Your essay provides general ideas but lacks detailed examples to illustrate the issues and measures related to the fresh water shortage.

task achievement

Ensure that you address all parts of the task. While you have provided some response to the prompts, your essay could be more complete by directly answering the provided questions.

task achievement

Express clear and comprehensive ideas. Aim to provide explanations and examples that clarify your main points and arguments on fresh water issues.

task achievement

Include relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your arguments more persuasive and demonstrate an ability to use concrete evidence in your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

water scarcity
irrigation
contaminated
waterborne diseases
ecosystems
biodiversity
pandemics
economic downturn
social unrest
food security
resource management
conservation efforts
sustainable
desalination
rainwater harvesting

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Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, a lot of children have health issues and are becoming overweight. Some people think that the government should be responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that doing multiple tasks at the same time can be beneficial. However, others are against this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It has become easier and more affortable for people to travel to other countries. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.