As technology helps to gain access to information, fact teaching should be removed and school should focus on developing skills and talents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#technology #gain #access #information #fact #school #focus #skills #talents

In the globalisation era, technology

have

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has

show examples

widely been used to

finding

Wrong verb form

find

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crucial

informations

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information

pieces of information

show examples

which resulted in lesser importance of

fact

teaching and should be replaced by

skills

and talent

developing

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development

show examples

. I align with

the

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

opinion as

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believe that schools should replace the burdening

fact

teaching with

skills

enhancing curriculum.

To begin

with, culture and technology have widely spread in fast distribution, as we

called

Wrong verb form

call

show examples

today "globalisation". The use of smart tech tools for easier information flow has been developed to an exquisite state with the function to support

human's

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human

show examples

productivity.

For example

, in recent times, one only needs to scroll and press

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

times on their phone display in order to find the full history of America or to call relatives in

other country

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another country

other countries

show examples

far away. The

advantages

of smartphones and smart technologies are undeniably amazing. With the

advantages

stated, smartphones

also

affect the way we study today.

With the

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The

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easy flow of information and knowledge,

therefore decreasing

Wrong verb form

decreases

show examples

the urgency of demanding

fact

teaching to students.

These

Correct determiner usage

This

show examples

era supported students to explore beyond the books and facts, to be aware of their talents and

skill

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skills

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in order to produce distinctive individuals

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

are ready

impact

Fix the infinitive

to impact

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the world with their experiences.

Therefore

school

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schools

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nowadays should

put

Verb problem

pay

show examples

more attention to the talents and

skills

the students

has

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have

show examples

. In conclusion,

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believe that

skills

and talent enhancing curriculum are

bringin

Correct your spelling

bringing

advantages

than the old

fact

teaching curriculum. Especially, supported

with

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show examples

the globalisation and more advanced technological era, people

sould

Correct your spelling

should

could

would

make the most

goods

Fix the agreement mistake

good

show examples

out of these

advantages

Submitted by ssannyssss on Wed Dec 27 2023

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task achievement

The essay generally addresses the prompt, but the response is limited in developing a coherent argument. The main ideas are presented, yet they lack fully developed explanations, and more specific examples to support your points are required.

coherence cohesion

Organize your paragraphs with clear and logical progression. Ensure each paragraph has a central idea and that the supporting sentences are directly related to it. Transitions between points and paragraphs could be smoother.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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As technology helps to gain access to information, fact teaching should be removed and school should focus on developing skills and talents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think the government should be responsible for solving the pollution poblems which result from heavy traffic. To what extent do you agree?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that when a person travels into a different culture they should adapt to the local practices and customs. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometimes starting from the age of five or six, right up until the age of 18. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making children do exams?